Challenges of being a single mother

Facebook status updates.

2011-12-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am going to touch on this. With Facebook updates, and you have the ex spouse's family as friends, are you more low key? Do you customize who can see your posts? Or, do you let it ALL hang out?

I have my ex-mother in law as a friend as well as brother/sisters in law and cousins. If I have issues with my ex? You will never know it on Facebook. I do not post anything at all. Last year I had an issue, and my sister posted something on my wall. I deleted it. Twice. One, because it is not something his family needed to know about. What happens between him and I is our business. Two, I deleted it because I know eventually, my daughter is going to be on Facebook. I don't want her looking at my Wall and seeing issues that she does not need to know about, between her father and I. Granted, he and I don't really have many issues, so, not too much to worry about in that respect. However, I see a lot on people's walls about hating and wanting to smack the stupid out of people. It is one thing if you are doing it in a closed group that the parent may be involved with. That is a group that your or their family cannot see what is said. That is your personal support area, if you are allowed to discuss things there.

I'm not sure I can say it any clearer. Your wall is NOT the place to air your grievances. This puts family, children and friends in the middle. Instead of announcing to your hundreds/thousands of friends issues you are going through, talk to your closest friends if you need that release. I am all for getting it out of your system, but, I am not all for announcing to EVERYONE what a jerk your ex is. This really does not look good on you, the parent, because you are the adult. Your children look to you for guidance. If your children are friends on Facebook, and they see this, they will start looking at the other parent in a different light. This can also be considered parental alienation. In the end? Not a good thing for anyone. Everyone can lose. You, the respect of being an adult, the child, loss of innocence and the ex, loss of the love from their child.

I'll admit, I have a second account on Facebook that I will never share with my daughter and I don't add the ex's family to. This is my venting board. I only have a few people on there that I know I would talk to about any issues. I hate talking on the phone, so, this will get my vent out in a safe zone, away from people who do not need to hear about it.

The question stands. Do you keep it on the DL, or do you let it all hang out?

Disclaimer: all stated above are my own personal opinions. I am not bashing anyone at all that does not believe what I do.

The End of an Era. The Closing of Borders.

2011-09-03T20:36:00.006-04:00

As we are all well aware of by now, Borders is going Out of Business :(. This is definitely a sad thing. Borders has been around forever it seems. And to have their doors close for the final time sometime mid to end of September? Royally stinks!

Since I started blogging, I've been at Borders almost every week. I would set up in their cafe blogging, reading magazines and then going and buying the newest book from one of my favorite authors. My daughter got hooked on going up there as well. She'd come up with me on the weekends she was with me and she would scamper off to the kids section to read a book, look to see which book she wanted to take home, meet some new friends, or play between the aisles "spying" on others. She always had interesting stories when she and I headed home for the night. She would also come up to the table I was camped out at and we would look over some cool toy or book she found and see if it was what she wanted to take home that night.

So, when we both heard that Borders was closing, we were SO upset! We couldn't believe it. We knew there were problems, and with not only today's economy, they were fighting against the lure of eReaders. People no longer wanted the great smell of a real book. They wanted to push a button and the page turned itself. Heck, I'm definitely NOT passing judgement. I have a Kindle, Wi-Fi, 6" E Ink Pearl Display that I just love. But, I do also still like flipping the corner of the page on a book and see it get all ragged :).

I know I'm going to have to find another place to start going, but, not so sure I want to go anywhere else right now. I'd feel like I'm cheating! So, I haven't been anywhere else to blog. I've been to Barnes and Noble a few times, but, never had quite the same feel as Borders did to me. It was always so cozy there, lol. Yes, I know. Drama Queen much? I'll put my big girl pants on and deal with it. But, I'm still allowed to be disappointed!

When you went to a bookstore, did you go to Borders, or another one? Stay tuned in a few days, I'll be doing a giveaway for a couple of things purchased there on my review blog Singe Parent Retreat!

My girlie went solo with her own blog.

2011-07-17T21:21:00.001-04:00

I've been encouraging my girl to write what she wants to here. However, she has really been wanting her own blog. So, last night, we set up a blog just for her. She is at East Coast Girls Life now!

She has three blog posts up already in less than 24 hours. I am so excited and proud of her. She really enjoys doing it and for a fifth grader, she is doing great. I know that she is going to rock this!

I hope you all get the chance to take a look and see what she's all about! This blog will be written entirely by her with only spelling corrections from mama and her dad if she writes when she is with him. We will not make any editorial changes, even with grammar :).

When your child tells you they don't believe in God

2011-06-25T21:11:00.003-04:00

So, what would you do? A few weeks ago, my girl and I are talking in the car and all of a sudden she says, "I don't believe in God". I was floored! Now, I'm not religious. I am more spiritual than anything else. My daughters father is atheist. I don't go to church, but, always express to my daughter my spiritual side. Her father makes no bones about the fact he doesn't believe. So, she is exposed to both sides.

So, what would any self respecting spiritual mother do? I told her she is going to start going to church every weekend that she is with me and we are going to start looking up religion online and get her more exposure. So, of course, she freaks out and says that I can't force her to do anything she didn't want to do. She doesn't believe in God, so I have to deal with it. I told her that she is 10, she doesn't have the frame of mind to know what she believes. Yeah, not a great conversation.

I calmed down after a bit and started talking rationally. I asked her why she doesn't believe. She says, because there is no proof that he exists. Yes, my 10 year old analyzes EVERYTHING. She has more of a scientific mind and needs to see back up. She questions everything and doesn't accept anything but a straight answer. I've tried running things around on her and she has no qualms telling me to stop beating around the bush and just answer her. I then asked her, so, does that mean that LOVE doesn't exist? You can't see that. She comes back with, LOVE isn't what you see, it's what you feel and the actions of you or others towards you that shows LOVE exists. That is how you see and feel love. I sat back and couldn't say anything. What could I say? She's right? I was brought speechless by my 10 year old. How can you respond to something like that? Not an easy conversation to have, let me tell you.

I've talked to some other mom's about how they respond to this type of conversations. I've heard things from "My child has no questions asked faith that there is a God" to "My child doesn't believe, however, neither do my husband or I, so, that was a blessing".

While I think religion should be openly discussed and I do feel that every child is entitled to their own opinion as well, it's a hard pill to swallow when your child says they don't believe. Especially at such a young age!

How would you handle this type of discussion with your child?

I love and hate storms!

2011-06-09T22:16:00.003-04:00

I'll be the first to admit! I absolutely adore thunderstorms. Ever since my mom told me when I was a child that it was Angels bowling and each lightening was a strike I couldn't get enough of them! I know my daughter loves the storms as well, even if she tries to play it off like she doesn't, lol.

Now, to the reason I also hate these storms! I'm single. I own a home. I have LEAKS! Argh! I hear the rain start coming down and pounding on the windows. I get a big smile on my face. Then I hear that tell tell, drip, drip, drip. I have a beautiful bay window that my cat loves. I enjoy it and am very proud of that window. However, there is a section where the sealant is that, you got it! Isn't sealed. The previous owners were definitely not the best people to take care of their home! Even though he was a contractor. He did fast jobs and really didn't pay attention to details when it came to his own home. If you've read some of my other posts, you will know, this is NOT the first issue I've had!

So, I call my brother in law who has been a great help in getting things around the house to an acceptable level and told him, "it's been almost 2 years! We need to get this sealed! I cannot handle it anymore. I have better things I'd rather spend my time on than holding a dang towel to the window to try and stop it leaking only to have it come pouring down from another spot." At that point, I am pretty much in tears because I had 2 writing assignments I had to get done and wanted to get started on my reviews on my blog. I am definitely ready to toss in the towel!

But, on the plus side, it finally stopped raining and I was able to get on with my night. I am certainly looking forward to being able to enjoy the next thunderstorm!

How do you like storms? Love them, hate them? How about your kiddo's if you have any?

The Steam Team of Austin TX!

2011-06-09T21:53:00.005-04:00

As we all know, these days everyone has such a busy lifestyle! It's hard enough to find the time to sweep floors, let alone clean carpets! That's where The Steam Team comes in with their professional carpet cleaning services. They do spot pre-testing as well as putting a protector on the carpet after each cleaning.

My favorite type of carpet is actually berber carpet. Not sure why, but I just love the way it feels when walking on it. I will be replacing carpet on my stairs going upstairs with berber and can't wait! The Steam Team also offers a berber carpet cleaner austin service as well which should be checked out!

Not only do they clean carpets, but they also clean furniture and drapes. I love that the Steam Team offers a one stop shop for most of your cleaning needs. They also have fire damage contractors austin to come out and help get things situated and restored after such a tragedy.

Have you used the Steam Team? If so, what were your impressions? Visit www.thesteamteam.com/ for more information.

Trying to grow up, way to fast! Tweens on the fast road to Teenageville.

2011-04-28T00:32:00.001-04:00

So, my daughter has a "boyfriend". Yes, really. She is TEN years old and she has a boyfriend? So, I try to explain to her. He is a boy, she is a girl, they are friends. What do I hear from her? Get over it mom, he's my boyfriend. Ok, yes, I remember being that age and having a "boyfriend", however, that was a school boyfriend. No real outside of school connection unless he happened to live in my development. Which never happened of course, because, well, I KNEW those boys and why would I want them to be my boyfriend? LOL.

But, today, things are SO different! There are cellphones to call on, emails to write and texting. My daughter texts this young boy EVERY day! Texts and emails are monitored of course, to make sure nothing inappropriate is said/done. She understands she does not have the freedom she may want, but has to suck it up and deal. I've met this boy at a school function and he seems very nice. They are in the same class, but, umm, HELLO! Fourth grade is too soon for out of school communication boyfriend/girlfriends. Isn't it? It may be cute to some people. My sister thinks it's great. Yeah, your daughter is 17, it's great there. Mine is 10. She should not get all hot under the collar when I tell her they are just friends, they don't go out on dates. Of course, when her Dad says the same thing, she agrees and goes on with her day. Love the joys of the Mother/Daughter relationship!

Another way girls seem to try and grow up too soon is by wearing makeup. It seems like lately, I've seen girls my daughters age, not only wearing lip gloss, but, standout lip gloss. Darker colors that are attention getting. I personally think in this day and age, you don't know who is out there, why allow your tween wear something like that? I've told my daughter that she can wear chapstick, and light colored lip gloss, but, that's it. She can wear what she wants around the house, but, once we step out that door, discretion is advised. Of course, I don't tell her the reason I don't want her wearing attention getting make up, but, she doesn't question it past when I say, "It's not appropriate for her age group".

So, do your kiddo's have out of school contact with their "boyfriend/girlfriends"? How do you handle it? Do you allow your girls to wear makeup in or out of the house?

My Cleaning Challenge

2011-03-27T15:53:00.001-04:00

Ok, everywhere I look, people are posting that they are going to start destressing and decluttering. Ok. I look around my house and I have to say, I am pathetic. I am one of the worst housekeepers on the face of the planet. I just REALLY hate to straighten up. I've always been this way. Then, after my divorce, I moved a house into an apartment, then another apartment. I am now in my own home that I bought on my own and you would think things should have changed. Ummm, nope. Unfortunately, I just find other things I want to do more. Play with my girl, watch TV, read a book, play on the Wii. Yeah, don't see much going on for cleaning. Add in the fact that I don't have a significant other to help me? I get discouraged and I just let it go... Not a good thing to show my girl. Who, yes, by the way, also doesn't like cleaning. Gee, I wonder where she gets that from? However, when I tell her to clean her room and she gets in the mood to do it. That girl kicks butt! She does SO much better than I do!

So, today started off with me doing writing assignments and editorials. However, upon being distracted on Facebook, I saw how everybody was cleaning and got to wondering, "What in Gods name is wrong with me? Why do I hate cleaning SOO much?" I don't get it. There are people out there who are so organized and love to clean, there are others in the middle and then there are those like me who just don't want to. Well, I believe there is NO way I'm going to be in the first group, so, I decided, I'm going to upgrade and head to the middle of the class. I'm tired of being at the bottom. I tossed my sheets and my daughters sheets in the washer, flipped the mattresses and *gasp* cleaned my closet floor. Now granted, it's a very, very, very small closet, but, when you have company coming over? You'd think it was the biggest room in the house. I threw everything in there. I would then just shut the door and pretend it didn't exist. I wouldn't even look at the floor when I went in there for clothes each day. If I couldn't see it, it wasn't there. That's how it works, right? I got in there and just started grabbing things until the floor was empty. I went through the clothes, the shoes, the junk. OMG, there was just SO much in that little closet! Really? Well, I'm proud to say, it's cleared out and trash bag filled, hamper filled and things put away. I did not take a before picture because I was just too embarrassed to be honest. But, I did take an after shot:

The bags in the back are actually my handbags and a duffel bag. Now, that's not all that is too my closet, but, that was the worst of it. The picture below shows the rest of the closet, which as stated isn't bad, it's just things I haven't unpacked. Gah, you'd think I'd be done unpacking after 1 1/2 years, wouldn't you? But, at least you can see what it looks like.

The back of that closet you see in the 2nd shot is very deep. My goal is to get rolling bins put in there and put items in there and when I need them, roll it out to get them.

As for the rest of this week, I plan to get the rest of my room straightened up in between edits I am doing. Again, I'm not going to post a picture of this because I am embarrassed. I have bins and an ottoman that were on the floor and I just started putting things on top. Clothing and duffel bags, pillows, etc are just piled up and I am so tired of looking at it. So, it's outta here! I did however take a before photo and will post it with the after photo.

Wish me luck!

Identity Theft

2011-03-20T00:05:00.003-04:00

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Blood Clots and Pulmonary Embolisms

2011-03-04T22:44:00.002-05:00

Recently a well known celebrity, Serena Williams, underwent medical treatment for a Pulmonary Embolism. This is a condition that is very common, but, doesn't get enough attention.

What is a Pulmonary Embolism (PE)? A PE is a clot that attaches itself to your lung. They form in other parts of your body, such as your legs or heart. The clot then travels through your body until it lodges itself. If it starts in your arm or leg, that is called a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT).

Who is at risk? Anyone can get a blood clot or have a PE. However, those who travel by plane or prolonged rides in the car are at a higher risk because sitting for so long causes your blood flow to slow, therefore creating the perfect environment for a clot to form. Also, those who suffer a trauma, such as a broken bone, which causes longer term immobility can help clots to form.

About 11 years ago, only 4 1/2 months after I gave birth to my daughter, I developed a DVT that then developed a PE. This was caused by me slipping down my stairs and my catching myself on the door jam with my toes. I broke 3 toes and had to get stitches. The Dr who treated me, told me to keep my leg still, because after a few days, I still couldn't walk on that foot, so they thought I did more damage. Never would I have thought that I would develop a clot. If what I felt in my leg, the part right behind my knee, was an indication, the clot formed within 2 weeks. I just felt pain. I then started having trouble breathing. As I still hadn't lost my baby fat, I just figured it was because of my weight. Thank God I went to my Dr. She put me in the hospital and originally the staff said, it wouldn't be a PE. They went to do a CAT Scan as well as a VQ Scan. The VQ Scan is what showed that I had a PE. The Dr's informed me that I had less than 10% chance of surviving this. As I am scared of dying, I thought my first thought would be stark fear. No, my fear was leaving my daughter without her mother. Out of approximately 200,000 people who develop Pulmonary Embolisms each year, approximately one third of them die.

I was in the hospital for five days hooked up to an IV of Heparin. Heparin is a Blood Thinner and their hopes were to thin my blood enough to break up the clot. You may also have heard of Heparin in the news several years ago, when Dennis Quaid's babies were given an overdose.

What are the symptoms of a PE? There could be chest pains, coughing up blood, shortness of breath that you can't explain, dizziness and/or fainting. Treatment includes heparin and/or coumadin/warfarin. I have been on blood thinners since July 2008. My doc is now starting to talk about taking me off them. My original doctor said that staying on them for the rest of my life was my only option. I believe I will be going through a full blood panel to make sure I can come off of them. Check HERE for more information on Pulmonary Embolisms.

As Serena had just been in a plane, it was said in a few news outlets, that may have been how the clot formed.

What can be done to prevent this condition? Avoid crossing your legs for long periods of time, stop car rides at least every two hours. If you are flying, make sure to get up often to walk up and down the aisle. However, I can't say this is 100% definite to work. I flew out to CA a few years ago. That was a 6 hour flight. I got up several times. I made sure to let the flight attendants know why I was doing that. I had been on planes before, but, that was the longest I was on one. I wore the loosest clothes I had, walked up and down and moved my legs frequently while on the plane. Unfortunately it wasn't enough. Within a week of getting back home, I had another DVT. Now, I don't think it was solely the plane ride that caused that. I had started dating that year and went on Birth Control. Blood Clots is one of the main side effects of Birth Control. Now, given my age at the time? I was 36. Birth Control is not recommended for women 35 and older. I had too much going against me and my body was just prime for it.

Since I recognized the symptoms, (pain behind my knee), I called my doc immediately and got an ultrasound done. That's where the DVT was found. Thankfully, it was caught before another PE developed and I didn't have to stay in the hospital that time. They sent me home with a script for needles to inject into my stomach to thin my blood as well as blood thinners in the form of pills.

If you feel any of the symptoms and had experienced any of the contributing factors, it would be highly recommended to contact your doctor to see if you should be checked for this.

Teenagers. Work and Sports - The New Sitter?

2011-02-28T21:19:00.001-05:00

I went to the grocery store today and while walking around and getting ready to check out, I realized, "There are A LOT of teenagers working here". I know I started to work at 14 at Burger King, but that was because I just wanted the money. I didn't have to work because no one was home and my mom didn't feel comfortable with me home by myself. My Grandmother and Aunt lived with us too, so it wasn't that.

So, this got me to thinking. Yes, I know, dangerous territory! Did you see the smoke? I wondered, how many parents are relieved that their kids are at an age that they can work so they aren't home alone? I mean, if you think about it. Todays society is really different from when I was younger and most likely, most of you. I used to walk home from my High School (pre-cellphone days) on nice days and that was about a 2 1/2 mile walk. I would of course give my mom a heads up that I may walk and she never had a problem with it. We were able to trust the people around us. That was only 20 years ago. Parents now have to worry about who lives in their neighborhood. Parents also worry about who may be driving through the neighborhood that could be looking for trouble. Or heck, even who their kids hang out with and what kind of peer pressure is being placed on them to make the wrong choices.

I found out recently that I have 80 registered offenders in my zip code! It was not that bad when I first moved in. Really??? Granted, most of those registered are more than three miles from my house, but still. So, now, my daughter doesn't go to the park unless I am with her. She plays out front or back where I can see her. My daughter's father has also made it clear, if I am still living where I am, he doesn't want her going to school in my area because of safety concerns. Now, I am not saying by any means that my area is bad. It really isn't. I chose the area that had the lowest crime rate and pretty much right by the police department. Further out? Yeah, I definitely would not allow her to come home alone. I am not naive enough to think that no one couldn't just drive by, etc. However, there are bad people anywhere you go. Anyone would be lying to themselves if they think otherwise. Whether it is the richest neighborhood, or the poorest. Unfortunately, it is not something that is escaped easily.

I was contacted by someone who had read this post with a suggestion that I think is phenomenal. Have a code word with your child. If someone approaches your child and says "Your mom and/or dad were hurt and I was sent to get you". Have a code that the child can ask them for (unless they know the person of course). If the person is unable to provide the word, the child should run to the nearest adult to get help. Wonderful suggestion!

Now, granted, these teenagers aren't suffering, that's for sure. They get the up side of it and are making money. What teenager doesn't want that financial freedom to say "I can get XYZ without going to mom and dad and hearing the whole, "you'll never appreciate what you have if you don't earn it" lecture".

There is also the sports related extra-curricular activities that students join. This is great for them because it keeps them active and keeps their self-esteem high. My daughter is 10 and I can tell you now, this kid is most likely going to be on a team each season. She is very athletic and enjoys staying active. She has tried many different activities to date, trying to figure out which she loves. Softball, Soccer, Swimming and Gymnastics. She is currently bowling and loves it. She also wants to take Hip Hop Dance classes.

I really don't think having your child work or play sports is over extending them. If you look at the long term results, teenagers who work or play sports, is very beneficial. I believe it builds confidence, higher esteem. This would lead into adults who know what they want and what is needed to get it. What is wrong with that?

Of course, to balance things out, what would the downside of teenagers working or doing extra-curricular sports? The main negative would be school work. The kids would need to make sure they have plenty of time to get their homework and studying done. It's all about balance, but, to a teenager, balance is not something they may think of. They may only see, when getting a job, the money they are going to rake in. So, in this respect, this is where the parents need to step in and help the kids to learn their work/school/life balance. I know I let my school work slide when I had my first job and my mom made me quit. I resented that, but, looking back now, I'm like, hmmm, she knew what she was doing.

Do you have teenagers? Do they work or play sports? How do you, as parents feel about it? How does your teen feel about it? Do they like working or playing sports? How are they balancing their lives with everything going on? I look forward to hearing your responses!

I have a "What would you do" question

2011-02-26T23:22:00.005-05:00

Something has been bothering me for a bit now, and I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive and should just get over it, or if it has merit.

Recently, while we were at my daughter's bowling league, she says, (completely randomly), "Daddy says he doesn't really remember much about when you guys were together and doesn't care about that time". Well, she says this in front of him and I just look at him. He tells her that she really shouldn't repeat things he says. Well, I kept my mouth shut while she was there, but, when she went up to bowl, I told him, "You really shouldn't say things like that in front of her". To her, we are still both her parents. She loves us both. Now, for the most part, I really think it has more to do with his wife. She is very insecure, as she should be, considering how they got together. (Back story, they had an affair that ended not only my marriage, but her marriage as well) Plus, it wasn't the only time she cheated on her first husband. She wants NO part of me in their lives. I'm not allowed contact with his family because she is trying to fit in with his family and doesn't want me muddying that.

Anywho. I considered either emailing him and telling him flat out again, that he shouldn't say things like that because it puts thoughts into our daughters head that with him not remembering, nor caring what happened during our marriage, that the time we had with her together wasn't important. Or just ignoring what she repeated from him and let him dig his own grave by coming off the jerk as she gets older and realizes some of what he says doesn't make sense. I do share some stories of good things that happened while we were married.

I have only recently defended myself to her when she asked why I ended the marriage. At the time she was younger and we divorced, I only stated that he and I didn't play nicely together and we had to live separately. However, when she asked why I did it, I told her (after 6 years of ignoring the question) that I was not the one who ended the relationship. After that statement, I told her the conversation was over as she was still too young to understand.

So, to the initial question. Would you confront your ex about his comments? Or, would you let it go for now and if it escalates, then say something? For the most part, he and I are amicable. We are able to communicate effectively in our raising of our daughter and things are smooth. I've called him out on a couple of things, but, I do pick my battles. While I don't care any longer, like he says, I understand my daughter needs that connection of when her parents were married. I let her see pictures when she asks and will answer most questions if I can.

How would you handle something like this?

Cost of Gas

2011-02-24T20:38:00.004-05:00

I am here for a serious vent. Hope you are ready! The cost of gas is getting ridiculous! I understand some countries are facing crisis and some leaders are having to step down, but seriously? Why should that force everyone else around the world into a crisis? Yes, that may be a naive question, but I can't help feeling a little selfish. I know I'm not in as bad shape as others out there. But I hate that people these days seem to have to work just to pay for gas to get to said jobs.

What can we do about this? We have over 700 million barrels in reserves. Why in the world can't the government step up and help out their citizens?

- Release some of these barrels.
- Stop putting barrels in reserve until costs come down.
- Have a gas tax holiday.
- We can also *gasp* use our own resources! I know, it's a shocking concept, but, why can't we depend on ourselves instead of foreign resources?

There are four choices of what our government can do to help us. Easy enough, right? Nope. Right now our Congress can't seem to get their heads on straight enough to do anything. They are busy fighting each other and getting ready to shut our government down. Seriously? Ok, there are Republicans and Democrats who can't play nicely together. It would be great if they would put the interests of the country before the pissing contest they are having of, "Well, you can't do this because I don't agree with it". Jeesh! I get along with my ex-husband better than this, and he cheated on me!

The government seems to take things upon themselves and not remembering, they work for us. However, it seems that we are working for them anymore. I personally am struggling financially. Having to put out so much in gas money is really hard on the wallet. There are times I am choosing which bills to pay each month. That is not a way to live. With the cost of gas, it's making it harder to determine what bills, if any get paid each month. How has our society come to this? Not only am I working my full time job, I am also working with several entities and writing assignments in the hopes of bringing some extra money into the house. I know there are MANY people out there working more than one or even two jobs. We are working to live. I'm still trying to figure out why that is acceptable. Why is that needed. There are parents who don't get to spend time with their children because they are constantly working. How is this fair to the children? As a single mother, I'm grateful that my daughters father helps pay for important things for our daughter. We split the cost of everything. I count my blessings on that!

What are you doing to supplement your income? How are you handling the cost of gas increasing? Are you taking the bus more? Carpooling?

Social Media Community is how great?

2011-02-12T13:21:00.001-05:00

Ok, sit down and get ready for a story :) This isn't a 3 hour tour, heck, may not be a 20 minute tour unless you read really, really slow, lol.

I have been blogging off and on for about three years. I started when I became a single mother, started back to school and working full time. I blogged just because. Did I have any followers? Nope. Did I care? Not really. I was doing it for me. So, I graduated school and started looking for a house. Still not blogging consistently. Only when the mood struck me. Then, a wonderful woman who was doing reviews and giveaways generously offered her assistance in getting me started. This was my first introduction into a community known as Social Media. I wasn't doing this on my own anymore.

Over the past year and a half, I've been running two, then three and now four blogs. I have this one of course. I also run Single Parent Challenges. This is where I write about my every day life. Sometimes I will also copy and paste the post over here because I have different followers and want certain posts exposed to each blog. Another one is run with my daughter Mother Daughter Connection. This one my daughter and I will post randomly. I am hoping this joint venture will show her how much writing can be fun. I also have a relatively new one that I am playing around with JM Consulting. This is where I blog about marketing ideas.

Well, after running those for the most part on my own, I realized that I am missing something. I decided I wanted to be more involved with people doing what I do. So, I started joining Social Media Networking sites such as Social Moms (formerly known as Twitter Moms), Book Blogs, Mom Blogger and Social Media Moms.

It was here that I discovered the meaning of actually belonging somewhere. My friends are great and absolutely support me in my Social Media fun, but, they don't always understand my passion. In joining these communities, I found MANY other women who share this passion of mine. They offer advice and tell it like it is, whether you want to hear it or not. But, they also listen with compassion and empathy and help direct you when you don't know where else to go. I'm going to share a sub story, but was a huge turning point in my thought process.

One day, I did something stupid. I was trying to lower payments on bills I had and decided to apply for a 0% int card to help with that. Well, with the way the economic situation is, they didn't even offer me half of what I needed to transfer. (Thank you new house for living beyond your means!) So, I get both bills and I was devastated, crushed and just beaten down. My bill was more than $100 a month more than it was before! I was like, WHAT?!?!?. I called both credit card companies absolutely bawling. There was just NO way I could afford this. They do have hardship departments that they could lower your payments, however, I can't do that because what if there is an emergency? Plus of course there is the hit on your credit report. Can't have that! So, after sitting on my couch crying like there was no tomorrow, after hanging up the phone on the representative who couldn't understand me anyway, I took to the boards. I needed help and didn't know where else to turn.

I couldn't go out and get another part time job because of my joint custody schedule with my daughter. I can imagine telling a potential new boss, "Well, I can't work that day, that day, and oh yeah, that day won't work either." Yep, that is the way to NOT get a job. Besides, I REALLY wanted to get more into Social Media. This is something I can do from home on top of my full time job during the day. I can do this anytime, anywhere. So, again, I took to the boards. How I got a coherent sentence typed, I'll never know. I offered anything I could think of that I could do. Advertising, blogging, facebook, twitter updates. The response that I got had me crying over again. This time with tears of happiness that I knew I wasn't on my own.

It didn't happen overnight, but, I found gigs that were paying me to write for them. I am doing advertising. I am busting my butt and have never been busier, but I am loving every minute of it. My goal is to get that credit card balance either paid in full, or at least within 25% of what I owe now by the end of this year. With the resources provided to me from these ladies, I know this can be done. Then, I won't have to tell my daughter, "sorry kiddo, we really can't afford that right now".

So, I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to all the mom's who were kind enough to help me out that night when I was at my lowest. You will never know how much you helped me and made me see the light at the end of the tunnel and that not all was lost. I gained most of my sanity back. What's the fun in getting all of it back??? LOL. They were an integral part in helping me to step further into what I love and not feeling like I had nowhere else to turn.

Elance - Online employees are looking for you

2011-02-10T22:00:00.005-05:00

Elance is a great site to visit when you are looking for freelance professionals, experts or consultants. As an Employer, you would have your pick of employees to fit your work needs in a pool of over 300,000 professionals.

There are many areas of expertise that Elance have employees signed up with them for. Those fields include Admins, Marketers and PHP Developers to name just a few. Those are just a few of the jobs that the people at Elance are looking to be hired in.

Online job searching is the current way employers and employees find a match with one another. The old way of looking in a News Journal seems to be going out the window in this day and age. Employees who work from home is one of the top growing option employers are going with because of the lower overhead costs of having employees work remotely rather than in house. Elance is one of the top sites as promoted by BusinessWeek, The New York Times and USAToday. So, if you are looking for employees to work remotely, make sure to stop over at Elance and choose one of their professionals!

Please note that this post is a compensated website review.

Report Card Time!

2011-02-09T18:38:00.003-05:00

Yep, it's that time of year. The Second Marking Period ended and the girlie got her report card. She came running up to me saying, "guess what! guess what!" I was like, what, what? lol. She said, I made Honor Roll! I looked at her and said, you know how I feel about lying, you shouldn't do that. She comes back with, but, I'm not! Look! Shows me the certificate. I was so excited!

Now, before you think "what kind of mom would assume that!" When we looked at her grades online, the kiddo had an F! Not quite sure how she pulled it up to a C in that last week, but she did! And then I was wondering when did having C's allow for Honor Roll? lol. But, either way, she did it, she knows she can do it and she is going for more A's in the next marking period.

How did your children do? Do you have a reward system in place for good grades? What consequences do they have if they have bad grades?

End of the World Scenario's

2011-02-08T22:19:00.005-05:00

Ok, yes, I know that title line is a bit morbid, lol. However, over the years, there have been so many end of the world theories flying about. One of the most common is due to the Mayan Calendar with the world ending on 12/21/2012. The reasons for this theory is because 1) The Mayans stopped their calendar on this date. Heck, they got it going this far, that should be impressive enough, right? 2) This is the date that we are going to be in the exact center of the Milky Way, which only happens every 26,000 years. From USA Today article in 2007, This means that "whatever energy typically streams to Earth from the center of the Milky Way will indeed be disrupted on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m. Universal Time," Joseph writes.

My poor daughter. Her birthday is in December. She asked when the world was supposed to end that year. I mentioned the date and she was like, ummm,that is X amount of days after my birthday. I was like yep, it is. She looks at me with this dead serious look and was like, "Well, that just sucks". I couldn't help but laugh, so obviously, couldn't punish her either!

Now, I have to say, with the way the weather has been over the last year on the East Coast, I have to wonder... Does this have anything to do with people saying the world is going to end? I am supposed to live in a state that seems to be immune to wonky weather. However, this year, since Christmas, we have had snow EVERY WEEK.... Really old man winter? Leave us alone! However, with the jet stream moving the way it is, I don't think it's going to stop any time soon. They are getting snow in Australia during their warmer months? Greenland is warm? What is going on? Are we heading into the next Ice Age? I mean heck, look at this picture of America from the first week in February through a Yahoo Article:

This looks like a scene right out of that movie, The Day After Tomorrow. Doesn't it?

Then we have the Asteroid theory. US first stated that an asteroid, named, "99942 Apophis" which is approximately 900 feet long was going to hit Earth in 2029. They then did some number crunching and found that no worries Earthlings! We are safe! Well, now Russia is coming up with this same Asteroid is going to hit Earth on April 13, 2036.

There were quite a few others that didn't pan out. You had the Y2K, which I think was more along the lines of technological death than the death of civilization. Then there were the Christians who believed that it wasn't actually Y2K, but, actually supposed to end about 2005 or 2006.

So, my question for you! When do you think the world is going to end. Are we going to live another 5 million years before we are out of the "habitable zone" with the Sun? Are we coming into another Ice Age? What are your thoughts?

Earthwhile Website Review - Freelance Article

2011-01-30T14:18:00.003-05:00

Everyone these days is aware of the "footprint" they leave in life. We are wiser than our great great grandparents because of technology, but, it is technology that could be doing us in. As we are brought more and more awareness of what is going on globally, such as the shrinking icebergs, more companies are cropping up with products that are recycled, such as paper, or products that we can use over and over again from the first time, such as reusable shopping bags. At this time, the only time I do not use my reusable shopping bags is when I am in need of trash bags for the bathroom and bedrooms.

Another thing that consumers are aware of is home insulation. If you have a severe lack of insulation, you are wasting so much energy! The less insulation you have, the more you are heating your home and wasting gas/oil or electricity. I know I need more insulation in my house and I definitely plan to do that at my first opportunity financially.

Another area that people are being more conscientious about is solar power. Why shouldn't we use our natural resources? We are always using out Outdoor lighting when we go out at night. Let the sun power it during the day and light up our front porches at night. Earthwhile in the UK is a great source for your "green" needs.

What do you do to lessen the about of footprints you leave on earth?

Please note that this is website review is compensated and I have not personally used products from this company.

Website I just found

2011-01-25T23:26:00.004-05:00

So, I am on the web, surfing and find all different kinds of websites. My friend Kristina over at Peaches Reviews just turned me on to Damnyouautocorrect.com. I am now addicted and laughing my butt off! My favorite one was the one about the 13th Zodiac sign, lol. I have to post it here for you to see. Yes, I know, it's the little goofy things that make you laugh.

Poor thing. I am SO looking forward to getting an iPhone so I can start yelling at it for taking over my conversations!

Brand new Challenge

2011-01-25T21:22:00.004-05:00

We can certainly say that my life is not a bed of roses right now. A little back story. I decided to transfer my balance to a credit card with a zero percent interest. So, I apply and am approved for the card. Well, they couldn't approve me for the full amount :(. So, I figure, ok, my minimum payment shouldn't be too bad. OMG, was I ever wrong. The card company apparently charges you an extra $40 a month on top of your regular monthly payment to "help" you get your balance paid down faster. I'm sorry, but, if someone is trying to transfer to a zero percent interest rate, it is NOT to get it paid down faster, it is to save some money. I was devastated a couple of weeks ago when I got a credit card bill and found that my new minimum payment is more than $100 more than it was when I had it on my other card.

I panicked. I was SO upset. Crying on the phone to both credit card companies. Of course, there was nothing they could do. I couldn't cancel the transfer because I was already billed. So, I figure, ok, I'll just transfer back to my other credit card. My balance will be an additional 7%, but, my minimum payment will only be $30 more than it was. So, what happens? I go to transfer the balance only to find the original credit card company lowered my credit line!!! I about flipped!! I was so upset. I am trying to dispute their decision, but, it's not looking good.

So, right now, I am taking assignments where I can get them between this blog and other blogs trying to bring some extra money in to fix this mistake. I still am in shock to be perfectly honest. I feel like I can't catch a break. I'm hoping my bad luck runs out at some point! I am trying to get my foot into Social Media and taking the assignments I have been, I hope it works out.

What do you do and what do you sacrifice to get your bills paid?

Bed and Bath decor

2011-01-25T20:54:00.006-05:00

As a relatively new homeowner that came from renting an apartment after my divorce, I am SO not enjoying the electric bills in the winter! I don't like the cold and found it was just easier to bump up the heat. Yeah, let me tell you how much my gas and electric company just adored me! I think I supported a few of their staff, lol. Now, it doesn't help that I am on blood thinners and that makes me cold anyway. Well, a company was brought to my attention for a New Electric Heated Blankets. The Bed Bath Store has a great variety of these blankets that look to be ready to keep me warm! I am all for that, lol.

I decided to look around Bed Bath Store to see what else they had. I think I discovered the joy of New Roman Shades. I have sliding glass doors in my kitchen to the deck that are as open as can be. I haven't found anything that I liked, but, had never heard of Roman Shades until now. Yes, it seems I live in a cave, doesn't it??? I have an eggplant color kitchen, so, it's also hard to decide if I want to go with a bright white or something a little more muted. I found that I liked these:

I'm thinking, if I repaint the framing a nice bright white, this would stand out just nicely.

Another page I went to on their site is the bath site where they are currently featuring Solid Towels. I loved the selection they offered. They even have a great Beach Towel sale going on. After all this cold, snowy, icy weather, I am SO ready for the Beach! Who's with me???

Have you been to this website? What has your experience been?

Please note that this is a sponsored freelance article. I did not receive product to review, however, I am being compensated to write this article based on my review of the website.

How did I not come across this site before???

2011-01-25T20:41:00.005-05:00

Recently I came across bluefly.com and can I tell you how much I love it??? The style of clothing they have is great and right up my alley. They have some great Marc by Marc Jacobs that I never noticed before. I am apparently not all that fashion savvy! lol. But, I know what I like and most of the clothing shown there were great and would fit my style and shape as well I believe. My favorite is:

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I am a handbag freak. I love, love, love bags. Handbags, totebags, beachbags.. You name it, I have it. I had one for every day of the month and was teased by family and friends unmercifully. I know what it is. They were just jealous, lol. Bluefly has a great line of Marc Jacob Handbags. My favorite would be:

I think that would make for a great carry on bag when you are flying.

Have you been to Bluefly.com before? What is your experience?

My girlie and the Girl Scouts

2011-01-21T22:29:00.003-05:00

Well, my girlie informs me that after this year, she does not want to be in the Girl Scouts :(. She has been in it from Daisy's and is now a JR GirlScout. She says that it is no longer her "thing" and she wants to do other things. I tried explaining to her the benefits of the Girl Scouts and it seems to be falling on deaf ears unfortunately.

As I can't force her to stay, I can only continue telling her what a great program it is, but, she has the final say. The last thing I want her to do is start resenting things I have her doing.

Are your kiddo's in the Girl Scouts or Cub Scouts? If they are older, how do you try to keep them in with the group?

Outside renovations - Freelance Article

2011-01-21T22:14:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned before, I bought my own house in Aug 2009. I've been doing MANY MANY MANY upgrades! I've been updated the lighting fixtures, appliances, painting and of course outside updates. One of these updates was for a Locking Mailbox. As I live in a row home and (knock on wood) I haven't had any issues with theft, I chose to go that route with all the mail I get.

Surprisingly, choosing a Mailbox was not as easy as I would have thought. When it comes to my home, I am VERY picky. Only because I seem to have bought the residential version of a lemon. I unfortunately didn't realize that until I was already settled in the house. So, as I am making it my own, I'm doing things slowly to make sure I am getting what I want for myself.

However, I am very happy with my choice of Wall Mailbox While it may not have been from Mailboxixchange, had I known of them at that time, they would have been a serious contender in my selection process. After reviewing their website, I see that they have a great selection from single mailboxes, to double ones and even a multiunit one that you find in developments with Townhomes. I would certainly suggest you keep them in mind when choosing your next mailbox!

Please note that I have not personally tried a product from Mailboxixchange. I am being compensated for my views of the product as I see it on their website.

SOOOO Excited!

2011-01-19T23:24:00.003-05:00

Ok, as you all know, I was having some issues with the girlie. Unfortunately, it almost came to the point of my asking her father to take her for a couple of weeks just so I can recoup. Let me tell you, I felt like a horrible mother for that thought crossing my mind. I'm sorry, but, when you are a single parent and you have no one to bounce your child on to? It's really rough.

Well, the past two weeks have been GREAT! She just went back to her dad's tonight and this week has been phenomenal! We start off in the morning of me going into her room and turning on her CD and she stretches for about 5 mins. When I call her after that time, she gets up, brushes her teeth and gets dressed. We have actually had mornings that we could sit down for a few minutes. Who knew how relaxing that could be!!!! It is really amazing when you have a mindset of one thing and then you seem to hit the jackpot.

I've said over and over how much I love my daughter, and no matter the trouble we've had, that has NEVER changed. She is my angel and the reason I am here. I know mother's and daughter's tend to go through these issues, but, I have to say, I was really getting discouraged. She apparently ended up having a big fit at her dad's one night. He ended up doing some research and sent me a few links on Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). I was looking at the symptoms and she had 7 our of 9 of them. I never heard of ODD until now. Apparently it is common in children with ADHD. There is no real treatment other than what she is doing now with her ADHD. I think her behavior with me has been in part due to me not jumping her case the first time she gives me attitude. My lessons learned were in a previous post. So, she really hasn't had the opportunity to defy me because I am not giving her reason to. She seems to be responding very well to my changes and is definitely more respectful.

Become Online Shopping Freelance Article

2011-01-19T22:59:00.003-05:00

Become is a site that I think people should check out. They offer a comparison shopping service that allows consumers to make smart choices in their shopping ventures I'm going to go over a few of the items they offer from various stores. So, read on!

I absolutely love my family and friends. I have pictures on my fridge, I have pictures at work. Just thinking of them makes me smile. I also love to have pictures on the wall in my home. The best way to keep them nice looking and not cluttered is a nice 1 5x7 3 4x6 collage that has the pictures hung nicely together. Become Online Shopping has some great collages at decent prices. Become also showcases cute wall decor such as "fatal" script stickers

Not only do they provide you information on wall decor, they also show you some great furniture like oak ridge furniture. Of course, what is furniture without the beautiful decorations of candles? Even better? The plate candle warmer to avoid the flickering flames and the possibility of sparks damaging that beautiful wood! Yes, I've had that happen to me unfortunately! I was blowing out the candle because I couldn't find my candle snuffer and sure enough, a spark blew over the lip and damaged one of my pieces.

Have you shopped at Become? What was your opinion? I would love to hear it!

Please note that I have not shopped with Become. I am being compensated to provide a written review of their website and options they have available to consumers.

Blue Sky Scrubs Freelance Article

2011-01-18T21:16:00.004-05:00

Can I tell you, I love Nurses. They make the world go round when you are in the hospital. Don't get me wrong, Dr's are great too of course! But Nurses are there for you while you are in the hospital, 24/7 to comfort you and reassure you when they are able to. The Nurses all have to where these scrubs though. How comfortable can they be? I hope they aren't starchy and rough to wear! If the Nurses are there to make me comfortable, I really do hope they are wearing soft cotton scrubs instead of stiff scrubs!

I was looking over at Blue Sky Scrubs and they have a wonderful selection of not only nurses scrubs, but also veterinary technician scrubs. The scrubs they offer are for men and women and also for our tall Nurses and Technicians.

We also can't forget of course the staff in the labs! Blue Sky also has white medical lab coats. These are all offered at great wholesale prices.

Please note that I am not a nurse, or haven't tried Blue Sky Scrubs. I am being compensated to write a review of their website based on my view of what I've seen while looking at the site.

RepairPal Freelance Article

2011-01-18T20:26:00.004-05:00

RepairPal was founded in 2007 by a group of automobile enthusiasts who wanted to share the most accurate, unbiased, and useful car ownership information. The offer a stress and hassle free way of finding the best price available for your auto repair needs. They have a vast directory of Los Angeles Auto Repair shops to help you in choosing the one closest to you.

They also provide you with listings of cars to review if you are in the market to buy a new/used car. An example would be of the Honda Civic. This page gives you a review from real people who have owned the car before. With consumers having more options available to them, online research seems to be where they are doing it. RepairPal would be a great tool to use in your research I would think.

If all that weren't enough, they also provide their consumers with an Encyclopedia that shows where certain parts are within their car and how easy or hard it is to replace them. One of the tough ones it appears to replace would be the head gasket. After reading the information, when I remember the phrase, "I'm going to blow a gasket!" it gives it a whole new meaning! lol.

I have not personally used RepairPal. I am being compensated to review their site and offer my views on it in this post for my readers.

Lesson finally learned?

2011-01-12T14:29:00.003-05:00

So, as you all have seen from previous posts, my daughter has definitely been a challenge to my sanity,(unfortunately I mean that in a literal sense)and just driving me bonkers over the past month and a half with attitude and complete disregard to respect she should be giving me. Telling me no when I ask/tell her to do something, arguing with me to prove,(in her mind) that she is right, even when she wasn't. Never let me finish a sentence because automatically I was wrong. I'm only the mother, I don't know squat right?

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have the patience the size of a gnat. So, as soon as she gave me lip, I jumped her case, because I KNEW I was right and she was going to keep going. I'm the mom, I KNEW that was what would happen! I'm the mom, so, I had to be right and just KNEW with 100% certainty that I was. Well, I think I learned my first real lesson. Moms are NOT always right.

I got my daughter back with me from her father last Friday. I decided to try something new because both she and I were getting to the point of, as soon as we were back together, we were tense and on the defensive almost immediately. That really is not a good feeling to have when you are going to pick up your child. So, back to the new thing. We had some snow fall the previous night and on the wall I chose to pack a good snowball and hide it from from her. One of the other kids dad was in his car, started laughing and said, you are not planning to get your kid with that are you?!?!?! I said, you bet I am! So, I go into the school and pick her up. Sure enough, she was already surly and ready to rumble. I was like, Oh heck no. We are not going to have this kinda weekend. But, I am going to be a little more stress free and I just ignored her and was chattering away with her.

We get to the car and by then, she already made a few sarcastic comments which I am proud to say, I also ignored. She started to get into the back seat and I was like, hey! Look at this, someone scratched up my hood! I had already grabbed the snowball I stashed at the top of the hood by the windshield and when she came to look at the "scratch", I pelted her with the snowball. Can I tell you, I about lost it at the look of complete incredulity she had on her face? It was great! It's been a long time since she saw that side of me. So, as I am doubled up laughing, she grabs some snow and drops it on me! It was great! Best time we had in a long while with our defenses completely dropped.

So, this was the trend going into the weekend. Anytime she had a bit of attitude, I let it go and she moved on to something nicer. We went over to my dad and brothers house and she didn't want to go in, slamming car door, stomping her foot, and I ignored it. By the time we were in their place, she was fine. Who knew?!?!?!

So, what was my lesson?

1 - I learned that mom's are not always right. We assume we know something, such as in my case, that she was just going to continue with the attitude if I didn't put a stop to it immediately. Kids want to be heard, and even if in a negative light, they get heard. Well, I decided to flip it on her and just let it go for a bit to see how she does. She surprised me, let me tell you!

2 - Kids treat you as you treat them. What's the saying? Treat others as you would have them treat you? In my lightbulb moment, I realized that by jumping her immediately after the first backtalk, it was showing her that it's ok to respond that way. Well, no, it really isn't ok. Just because they are kids doesn't mean that they are automatically in the wrong and need to be treated that way.

3 - Learn patience. The past 5 nights have been fantastic with her. I know, (and yes, I can say that with confidence) that my not jumping her the second she stepped out of line helped. She was given the ability to put herself back on track without me harping at her. Trust me, it's been hard! My first instinct, because I've done it for so long, has been to react, not think.

So, for the first time in a month and a half, I can say with complete certainty that I enjoyed my daughter. We had a wonderful time together and now that I know I can control myself, I will continue to do so.

What tips would you have for parenting in a more effective and positive way? What works for you or doesn't work for you?

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T21:10:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! I am actually pretty excited that it is 2011. Fresh New Year, Fresh New Start, right? I am SO looking forward to what is coming up this year. I don't know why and can't explain it, but I have a wonderful feeling!

My goals this year and I don't plan on diving into them all at once. They will take the full year. I will work my way down them. Actually, I'm making it sound like there is a lot, but, really only a few, lol.

One is to lose my weight! I know every female tends to have this goal, but, as I have high cholesterol, it's really more of a necessity for me, not a want to.. So, the goal is to lose a minimum of 40 lbs this year. If I lose more, that would be a bonus!

Two is to clear out my house. It is just my daughter and I and we have enough stuff for a family of eight! I am so sick of looking at everything. I really, really, really need to get it out of here or I am just going to go nuts.

Three is to pay off my credit card by the end of this year. I am newly and refreshingly ready to show my determination and get it done! No more playing around. I will be looking for assignments in blogging and writing freelance to make this goal come true. However, even if I get it 3/4 of the way paid? I'd be ecstatic with that too!

Final is to rejuvinate my relationship with my daughter. I know she knows I love her and I know she loves me. We are definitely alike which is what makes things so hard. I need to lighten up a little and see how things go.

What goals do you have for this coming year?

Financial Rant

2010-12-19T00:01:00.004-05:00

Ok, I know I am a single income earner. I've accepted that. However, I want to say, it sucks! I am constantly struggling to make ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck and I can't stand it. I hate having to tell my daughter, "sorry hon, we can't afford to do that because I had to pay the mortgage with this paycheck".

Argh! I am trying to do what I can to bring in additional income, however, it's not really working out as quickly as I would like to see it. I am trying to get advertising going on my review blog. I am also trying to break into Social Media and work with companies to set up their Social Media needs. However, that too is not happening as quickly as I would like it to.

My bills at times seem very overwhelming and I know eventually there will be a break, but, I hope that time comes sooner rather than later! I am hoping to have my CC paid off by the end of next year. I really hate having that over my head! Student loans will be next on the list of bills to go away.

I've had to cancel on friends because I just didn't have the money. On some events they offer to pay, but, when that bill can rack up to approximately $100 for me alone, I can't allow that! I love my friends and would love to go out and do everything with them, but, one, I can't afford it, and two, I don't want them to start thinking that the only way I'll hang out with them is if they pay. I've always paid my way and I hate when I can't. Heck, I am a 38 year old woman. Definitely did not see my life like this. I guess it's a pride thing. I'd rather do nothing more than hang with friends and have a great time. I understand it can get frustrating for them too because it seems like I'm bailing on them, but, that's not the case at all. The problem is, I care too much to constantly give them "another mouth to feed" for lack of a better phrase.

I know one friend isn't too happy with me right now, and I hate that, but, I had to do what I had to do. I just hope they eventually understand that and work out this issue by seeing my side of it. They mean a lot to me and it hurts knowing something like this could actually drive a wedge between us.

On the plus side, starting in January, my job goes to a 40 hour work week, (I currently work 37.5 hours), so, while not an extreme difference, the addt'l funds in my check will be extremely nice!

Mother/Daughter Relationship issues

2010-12-10T22:13:00.002-05:00

Ok, anyone who knows me, knows I love my daughter more than my own life. She is my sun and moon all in one. However..... Lately, I'm not sure what is going on, but, anytime I bring up a conversation she has had with her dad, she completely disregards me. She tells me, I've already discussed this with Daddy, I don't want to discuss it again! Now, keep in mind, she is only turning 10 soon. So, I tell her, well, that's nice that you discussed it with your Dad, however, that doesn't mean you get out of discussing it with me. So, she goes on a rant of, this is why I hate having my mom and dad divorced! I have to go through this stuff two times and I hate it! I tell her, well, you would have had to discuss it with both of us even if we were still married, but, in this case, you at least get a breather, so, suck it up and deal kiddo.

It just seems lately, anything I talk to her about, we end up arguing. Again, I love my daughter! But there are times I really don't like her! I've tried to explain that I only wanted to talk to her to get her take and for her to hear what I had to say since I am her mother. She just gets so upset and I'll admit it, I get so dang frustrated! I told her point blank, that I am just as an important parent as her father is. What I have to say is just as important.

I think she and I are so much alike, we just butt heads! Then, after we argue, she does the funniest things and gets us both laughing. But, I am going to start reminding her to keep it at the back of her head, she is going to hear from both of us whether she likes it or not.

Then when I tell her to do something, usually something small, she'll respond with No. So, I look at her and ask, "where was the question?" I hate resorting to that! And at this point, I've said it so much that she gets beyond irritated and flips out. Ugh. No way to win! Still trying to figure out a way to work on this. I did tell her tonight that I thought our relationship stinks. I can't talk with her anymore without her getting all ticked off from the first word out of my mouth. She just looked at me. Yes, I am blunt with her. Sometimes too blunt, but, I think that is what works for her.

So, any other parents go through this? How can I get through the Tween and Teen years with my sanity intact????

Get to know me first!

2010-12-04T00:47:00.003-05:00

I have a story to share and it's kinda creepy, but SO funny! (Well, it is now!)

I went out to dinner with a friend. We had a great time, it was her Birthday the next day and we were just catching up. This is a woman I had been friends with for 30 years now. We met when I was 7 and she was 5. Well, anywho, after dinner, we went our separate ways. She decides to stop in at Wawa to get a drink I guess and some guy decides to hit on her outrageously. So, she informs him that she is in a relationship. But! She has a friend who is single. (Read this as the single friend is ME). Ok, well, I'm trying to get out there, get to know people and meet potential dates. So, she is talking with him in text to make sure she won't waste my time. Thanks hon! You know how busy I am and I appreciate that! lol. Well, she gives me his number after giving him some info and me some info and I feel interested. I decided to text him and introduce myself and see what happens.

We didn't really talk much during the day since we works at night. We meet at a Wawa and at first my thought was, this guy is SO not my type. I like the geeky looking guys, lol. Don't know why, but I do! But, I figure, I'll still talk and try and get to know him. So, he gets a coffee, the Latte machine is down and I choose not to get anything. We go outside and start talking. Asked if I smoked, No I don't. Is that a deal breaker? Yep it is! What kind of music do I like, Anything but country. Well, we're batting 300 here! He smoked and liked country, lol. He asked if I wanted to get into his car as it was drizzling. I was like, ok. We're in a crowded parking lot, it's fine.

And it was! We were in the car, I had my hand on the door handle, just in case. He was asking questions and as I was answering, he would interrupt with comments of "your eyes are stunning!" "I love your voice!" "You have a beautiful smile!" Ok. I say thank you and as I couldn't think of anything to say, I just smiled. He asks me another question. As I am answering it, he interrupts me again by running his fingers through my hair saying how beautiful my hair is!

OMG. Ok, first of all, this is NOT a date dude! We are meeting to see if there is anything there. What part of me leaning AWAY from you gave you the impression that I was interested??? Seriously? So, I smile, look at that time and say, I have to go. So, he asks for a hug and I give him one of those one armed hugs. You all know the one, right? Yeah. Apparently I was one of the best huggers he's met. Really??? Ok, at this point I am thinking, I am NOT going to bed with you, stop trying with all the sweet pillow talk! THEN!!! As I say, ok, well, I really have to go and get on my conference call, he tries to kiss me!!! OMG. Again, NOT A DATE!! I know that some people don't have to be on a date to do this and I'll admit, I've done it. But, I was completely NOT interested and didn't give any sign that I was. So, once I realized what he was doing, I quickly put my head down and he got my nose. Ok, I'm out. I'll talk to you later.

Obviously, later never came. He text me later and said it was great meeting me and he can't wait to see me again. Yeah, not so much. Oh! I forgot to add, during our get to know each other he asks me "do you like intimacy?" Ummm, really???

So, anyone in the tri-state area have a single friend who is NOT like this one, please let me know! lol.

How many of you single mama's and single women have dealt with this type of scenario or something similar? I'd love to hear your stories!

Infidelity stinks. Enough said.

2010-11-18T23:17:00.002-05:00

As a divorced woman, who was betrayed by a husband, I STILL do not understand the workings of a mans mind! Why would they cheat on their wives? Is it the thrill? Is it because they think the grass is greener on the other side? I mean seriously. I know there are millions of cheating spouses, significant others, etc. However, even famous people can’t escape this. I know there were others, but the most recent three that I’ve actually paid attention to has been Tiger Woods, Jesse James and Tony Parker. I mean really? Their wives were GORGEOUS!

Obviously we don’t know what happens within the marriage, and you only see the personality that is put out there on display. Sandra Bullock and Eva Longoria are Actresses. If anyone can put a good front on, they can. But, how long could they put on a good show if it’s not who they really are? From what I’ve read and seen on TV, these women were genuine women with their hearts in the right place. But their husbands, then go and cheat on them? I’m sorry, but that is a moronic move just because they are public figures. Did they think they would be the ones that wouldn’t get caught? Regardless if the wife is the absolute worst woman on the face of the planet. Divorce her… Don’t put you both through the speculation of, well, he’s horrible for cheating on her. If you see someone else you want? Discuss it with your spouse. Yes, this is for women too. I know it’s not just the men who cheat. There is speculation of another starlet who may have ended her marriage because she cheated. No names mentioned just because that is only speculation.

I am just so tired of seeing marriages crash and burn because of infidelities. The third party people who are involved in the dissolution of a marriage, in my opinion is worse than the spouses. They KNEW when they slept with the cheater that they were married. They KNEW that they could be the one to end a marriage/relationship. If they are that desperate for a relationship, find someone else who IS available. There are millions of single people out there.

It’s like going back to elementary school and going after that instant gratification. You want what you can’t have, i.e. the forbidden fruit, and you want it NOW. Damn Eve and that forbidden apple!
These are my opinions and no one else’s. Just the rants of a single woman who was affected by this very issue and had my world turned upside down. I hate seeing other people going through it and am disgusted by human nature.

Bye Bye toys!

2010-11-06T22:19:00.002-04:00

So, as stated in a previous post, I told my daughter, "you have another fit like this and the toys will be packed up". Guess what? :( The toys had to get packed up. About two weeks after I told her this, she broke down and had a HUGE fit. I was like, I'm done and so are you. So, while she was at her fathers, the toys were packed away. She had to wait two weeks before earning her first toy back. I told her she will have to wait 2 weeks after that to get another toy back. Then, and ONLY then, will I think about letting her earn one back every week. It has been three weeks since I packed her toys and no fits! Even though she barely played with her toys, I think just the idea that I did take them away had her shocked. She told me, "I didn't think you'd really do it!" Gah, that says a lot about how lenient I've been! Not really a good thing!

However, I think she is happier without her room cluttered with toys. Her first toy that she picked to have back was an outdoor toy. I think she should go through her toys and just start selling them on eBay or sell them to a childrens consignment shop. I may put that suggestion to her soon, lol.

Update from MedCheck Appt!

2010-10-01T22:45:00.003-04:00

The girlie's father took her to her appt this past week. While she is doing well on the current dose, the dr suggested that we increase her meds to 27mg. This is due to the fact she is gaining weight. In 3 weeks, she has gained 2 lbs. OMG! This girl has been eating! Just tonight, at 9:30, she was asking for mac and cheese, or the forkables pasta and meatballs! Now, we know that 2 lbs in 3 weeks is not a lot, but, the meds work by weight. With the gain, it is now putting her at the highest weight that can be controlled by the 18 mg of Concerta. Going to 27 mg, they said there will be a noted difference. We are going to finish out the 18 mg and then put her on the 27 mg. Probably end next week to mid following week.

Now, since I told her last week in no uncertain terms that if she threw a fit like she did with me last week, again, that I will pack up her toys when she is at her father's and she will have to earn them back, one by one, she has been great with me. A little attitude, but, nothing that I wouldn't expect. However, it apparently was a completely different story Thursday morning when she was getting ready and as her Step-mom was taking her to school. She did the whole thing she did with me. Screaming, kicking the seat in front of her, etc. I feel horrible that she went through that, because I know the way it makes her feel, but, I'm glad that they saw it firsthand and not thinking I was exaggerating the whole thing. It all started over trying to get her hair brushed. She HATES brushing her hair! OMG, it's a fight almost everyday. There are times, I'm like, forget it! Look like a bum, I don't care! Other days she just brushes it absentmindedly while talking to me. Well, her hair is now shorter. Hopefully will look better going forward!

She is back with me this weekend, and I am SO hoping for smooth sailing for the next 5 days! I love my girl! She is my life, however, there are times I want to pull my hair out!

Oh, the SCREAMANTICS!

2010-09-26T11:21:00.004-04:00

So, it took me a bit before I posted this as I wanted to make sure I was reasonable, lol.

Last Monday morning, the girlie decided she didn't need to listen to me as we were getting ready for work and school. She thought it may be more important to let her hamster run around on her dresser before getting dressed. I told her, you can let Butterscotch run around AFTER you are fully ready for school. Not too hard, right? Ugh. So, needless to say, we were late leaving the house. Other things happened during this time, that I won't go into detail on, but, the resulting consequence was, she was to be in bed by 8 that night.

Fast forward to Monday night. Not a great night. She decided that 8 was too early to go to bed and she just wasn't going. Really? How old are you chick? You are NINE. So, unfortunately, we spent from 8 - 9 arguing and she starting yelling. Well, the next night, we were supposed to go out to dinner with friends. Yeah, with her acting this way? I DON'T THINK SO! So, I text one of the friends and said, sorry, we can't make it. However, after an hour, I finally broke down and I bribed her. I know! Not a good example! But, I told her, if you just go to bed now, we will stop at Taco Bell. How horrible am I to do that?!?! But, I couldn't help it. I was just so drained, I really felt I had no option. Not a good thing, let me tell you.

Now, Tuesday morning, still another bad time. She at least waited until we got in the car before throwing her fit so the neighbors didn't hear. She was still mad that we weren't going out with friends. OMG. Really? So, I pretty much kept my mouth shut and waited for her ADHD pills to kick in. She was much calmer by the time we got to school.

So, Tuesday night, I pick her up. Told her in no uncertain terms, here is the deal. You throw another fit like you did the past two days, I will pack up your toys and and you will have to earn them back, one by one. It happens again after that? Two weeks without your computer. Again? Three weeks grounding. Advised her that consequences 2 and 3 will roll over to her father's household. She was NOT happy about this at all. I even told her, I won't remind you of what will happen. You will just end up going to your fathers during his time and when you come back, your room will be cleared. This is your ONLY warning.

Well, Tuesday night, we had a wonderful night after the initial whine and crying after I informed her of her punishments. Wednesday morning was fantastic too! I was SO excited.

Tuesday morning, I actually increased her dosage of her ADHD pills to see if there was an improvement. There was as stated how Tue night went. However, I went back to the 18mg of the Concerta on Wed. She went to her father's that night and he said, other than a few attitudes, she has not had anything like what I experienced Monday and Tuesday. So, she comes back with me tomorrow night after school. Lets hope for the best!

I just feel that it is a bit harder here, because I don't have someone to bounce her off of! I can't just walk away and say, "ok, YOU deal with her". It's me or nothing. Not a good feeling in those instances!

Gift bag idea for presents

2010-09-12T00:00:00.003-04:00

Ok, maybe I'm the only one who hasn't thought of this, but on the flip side, maybe I'm the first to think of this! Who here hates to spend an outrageous amount of money on a gift bag that is most likely going to end up in the trash? Picture me raising both hands! lol. The gift bag industry is definitely a market to be in and make a load of money! The smaller bags run, what? $3.00 approximately?

Well, I had gone to Toy's R Us to buy, you got it, a gift bag for a baby shower I am going to tomorrow as well as a gift card for a Birthday party my daughter is going to next week. Well, as I walk in the door, I notice a stand of reusable bags. These are really cute bags! So, I'm looking to see which one I like the most before moving on and it hits me. Why in the world can I not use one of these for the baby shower gift???? The bag was only a $1.49. It is the size of a larger gift bag that you pay about $5.00 to $6.00 on. So, there you have it. As a new mom, she is definitely going to need a bag to put things in, so, why not get her something she will reuse???

It's the same with kids Birthday gifts. They don't care about the wrapping, only about what's inside. So, why not get the parents a gift too with the reusable bags?

Tell me, have you done this before? What are the reactions of the recipient or the recipients parent? I'd love to hear your feedback!

New Pill, hopefully better results!

2010-09-04T10:34:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I took my girl into the Doctor's office for a med-check. She didn't want me to discuss my concerns with the Dr. in front of her because she was embarrassed and didn't want the Dr. to think she wasn't a good child. Yes, that broke my heart! So, the doc and I went into the hallway and I went over everything. I even mentioned the thought my girls step-mom had of a mild case of Autism. The Dr stopped me right there on that one. Said it would have been diagnosed by now. Whew! One less thing to worry about!

So, we are changing her medication from Metadate CD to Concerta. Apparently these two are from the same medicinal family, but, we probably should have changed her medicine last year. However, we really weren't haven't trouble until recently. So it wasn't an issue. Doc said that was fine that she was on it longer, just that Metadate CD is one of the shorter acting pills for ADHD. Lasting 6 - 8 hours instead of 8 - 10 like Concerta does.

I gave her the first pill this morning and the first thing out of her mouth was, Mom! This tastes like Cinnamon! Oh man, her favorite seasoning, lol. We are starting off with the 18 mg for 4 days and then increasing it to 36 mg to see which one is better for her. they also have a 27 mg one, so if the 18 is too low and the 36 is too much, we have that other option. Even though this is the first day, so far, she has been great! She went to her father about 2 hours after I gave her the pill, so, I will check with him tonight to see how she did later in the day. Girlie has a re-med check in two weeks, so, hopefully things will go well in that time frame. We will of course email her teacher to let her know what is going on and to keep us informed as to what happens during the day when she goes back to school after the holiday.

If your child has ADD/ADHD, what meds do they take? How many did you go through before finding the one that settled well with them? In other words, no highly emotional bursts of crying for no reason, no zombie like (as I call it) days. My niece, who also has ADHD, went through 3 or 4 different ones. She is currently on Adderal, which is a different medicinal family from Concerta.

I look forward to hearing your feedback!

Researched Temper Tantrums and Meltdowns

2010-09-02T22:35:00.002-04:00

So, as gone over previously, lately my lovely angel hasn't been so lovely :(. It was broached to her father by his wife the possibility of Autism. My first reaction was, really? I don't think so and tell your wife to use her B.S. Psych Degree on someone else. She works in computers, btw, and doesn't use her degree at all.

Anywho... The more I thought about it when I was a little more rational, I started wondering myself. I kept thinking, this can't be possible. She doesn't act as I would have thought a child with Autism would act. So, I did what anyone else would do, and googled it. There are many forms of Autism and one of them is Meltdowns. They become so overwhelmed with everything and they don't see any other recourse other than letting it out. Which of course gets me upset because it can be over the most ridiculous things! Tonight for example. I asked her to bring the trashcan into our yard. She threw a fit because there was a spiderweb on it. Granted, she is slightly allergic to spiders, however, all she had to do was go to the other side and pull that handle. Nope, she wasn't having anything doing with it. So, I got mad and told her, if she can't help out, then she can go in the house and suck up the punishment.

Well, I get back in the house after getting the can and watering the flowers and she is sitting on the couch, upset. I was upset still and basically told her, I'm tired of you doing nothing in this house and I feel like you want me to do everything. Well, I'm not superwoman, get off your butt and help me out! She then had a meltdown. Crying and screaming, walked out of the living room after I tried to cheer her up by laughing at a piece of clothing that fell on her. She got REALLY upset at that, thinking I was laughing at her. I tried to explain, but she just cried harder. So, I calmed myself down REAL quick, went into the Kitchen. At first she didn't want me to come near her. She thought I was going to spank her, when all I was going to do was give her a hug to try and help her calm down. It took a few minutes for her to allow herself to relax into me. She then was like, I'm SO confused! You were mad and now you are being nice! I don't understand it! That broke my heart, let me tell you! That's when it hit me, that maybe, just maybe, there was something to the Autism link.

So, while she was watching TV, I did some research about the differences between Temper Tantrums and Autism related Meltdowns. There was a bit of both I felt in her Meltdowns... Tomorrow we have a med check appointment for her ADHD meds. I had already planned on talking to the Dr. to see what is going on and go into what has been happening. I'm going to mention Autism, and see what they say. I always felt that she could control herself which is why I never thought of that. But, the more I think about it, and as I read some of the articles I came across, kids need to have an outlet too! We adults get mad, why can't kids? Why do we teach them that they have to suppress it, when we adults have NO qualms about expressing ourselves. So, I wonder if when she did suppress it, was it because she could? Or was it under duress of punishment if she didn't knock it off???

Hopefully we can get this resolved! I would love to hear from my parents out here! How do you handle temper tantrums? Do you have an Autistic child and how do you handle their Meltdowns?

Tween attitudes

2010-08-26T21:27:00.003-04:00

Ok, so lately my girlie has been really ALL about the attitude lately. If she doesn't get her way? She then says, "I want to go stay at Dad's". I'm pretty sure it's all about the reaction because she knows I don't like hearing that. So, I emailed back and forth with her father and apparently she did the same thing at his house. She figures, I have two houses I can go to if I don't like what's going on at one, I can go to the other! Well, he told her, if you are not happy about something, then, lets talk it out. Wanting to go to Mom's house is an easy out and that's not acceptable.

LOL. Well, he was nicer about it than I was! I told her where the phone was and to go. At that point though, I was just so emotionally exhausted by her constant attitude, that I just didn't feel like dealing with it! As a single parent, you don't have someone that you can just bounce the child off on for a little reprieve! She of course didn't call him and was like, you really want me to go??? I looked at her, and was like, of course I don't want you to go babe, but, I'm tired of us going back and forth arguing, and I am not going to beg you to stay somewhere you aren't happy. So, if you want to go, then go. She looked at me, gave me a hug, told me she loved me and went up to bed. However, she has said it several more times and I at this point just ignore her. Today though, I did use her father's technique and told her, in the future, I don't want her to tell me she wants to go to her Dad's. If she is unhappy, we will talk and go from there. Told her, "you don't usually take the easy out on anything! Why would you want to on this!" lol.

I've informed her as well, that things are going to start changing around the house. While the only chore she will have during the week is to take dishes to the sink and keep room straightened up, on the weekends, she will be helping more. Why should I have to do everything? By the time I was her age, I was doing a lot more. She didn't look too thrilled with that! So, lets see how that works out for me! haha.

Oh, and did I mention, she is ADHD. Fun Fun right? Once her pill is in her though, she tends to start calming down. Overall, she really is a great kid. Just need to get her back on track. She also says occasionally that she hates her life. Well, I think I may have her help me out and let her see how the other side lives. I was thinking of starting to volunteer one day a month at a soup kitchen, possibly see what help the local Women's shelter needs and also take donations to a local Orphanage. I wonder if that might be the light bulb that needs to go off over her head to realize that even though we don't have a lot of money, we aren't that bad off!

What do you do handle your Tween/Teen attitudes? I would love to hear some tips!

So Proud of myself!

2010-08-11T23:26:00.004-04:00

It certainly is the small things in life! I changed the brake light on my car by myself! lol. I was so excited that I posted this on facebook. I know it's something small, but trying to learn and depend on myself is going to have to take center stage! I do have my brother in law who has been a tremendous help getting the big things done! I've been going crazy! But, just that small sense of accomplishment really made my day :).

Dating and the Single Mom

2010-07-10T21:43:00.003-04:00

Well, I've been putting myself out there in the dating world, and let me tell you, it sucks! lol. I've met, Mr. Clingy who needs ALL my attention, I've met Mr. Desperate who I thought I was going to have to take a crowbar to his face to get him to stop kissing me, and Mr. Don't tell me you love me after 4 dates, but the 5th date is mine to say, I think I am falling in love with you. Really???? I'm starting to wonder if I should just become the crazy cat lady on the street and I am only 37! Unfortunately, DE is such a small state, you are constantly running into the same people over and over.

Last week I found myself attracted to someone, but found out that day was supposed to be his wedding day. Yeah, not so much! While I felt so bad for him, I'm not into rebound relationships.

So, what to do, what to do? I've tried Match.com and other websites, but to be honest, most of the men on there really aren't my cup of tea. Should I just bite the bullet and do what this one girl did and don't say no? Go on at least 2 dates to see if there is an attraction and move on if there isn't?

But then you have the guys who when they start texting you are immediately telling you what they want to do with you when they get you alone. OMG, seriously???? I am a shy woman who had been with my ex from high school until the age of 31. I am SO not into hearing what you want to do to me before we even meet! You don't know me like that, I don't know you like that. So my theory is, adios, and next!

Does anyone have any suggestions??? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and suggestions!

Do your research!!!!!

2010-06-15T20:57:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, my darling little angel asked me if she could play the trumpet. Naturally, I told her no! I learned tonight, I made a HUGE mistake!!! My daughter then asks me, can I play the Baritone Horn? Sure kiddo! Why not??? Yeah, as my title says, DO YOUR RESEARCH! The instrument that I had imaged in my head was actually the tuba, not the trumpet. The Baritone Horn is more than double the size of the trumpet and of course LOUDER. OMG, what have I done??? I just warned one of my neighbors of the racket she will be causing, lol!

However, the plus side, if you can imagine such a thing, is that if she chooses to stick with the Baritone Horn? There are scholarships out there for college if they stick with it! I'm going to convince myself that is a good thing and keep that as my mantra....

What would you do if your 16 year old wanted to try something out of your comfort zone?

2010-06-13T00:05:00.005-04:00

As with most of the world, I waited for news that Abby Sunderland was safe after two emergency beacons went off about an after after she lost communications while talking with her mother. I was so excited to hear that she was safe and sound!

It sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen. Your 16 year old tells you, I want to sail around the world alone. OMG. I personally would have gone nuts. I love my daughter to pieces, but I think it's in me from my mom to put my child in a bubble and never let her out for fear she may get hurt. However, after reading Abby's Blog I can see that she had the love and support of her family, and while it may have been hard for them to let her go, they felt that it was the right decision for her. As much as I try to encourage my daughter that she can do anything she wants, would I have allowed this? I really don't know the answer to that. I think I may have asked for the men in white suits to come and get her and keep her in a padded room until she was 18. Or older!

However, to be honest, I don't know how I would have reacted. But when I read this week that Abby was feared lost at sea, my first thought was, how could her parents have allowed this? What were they thinking? She is 16 for God's sake and you allow her out like that to sail the ocean without anyone? Reading her blog, the love and support that showed from her friends and family, "Team Abby", it's obvious that they were doing what any loving parent would do and encourage her dream. It's not like she was nine or 10 years old. As stated in a comment on her blog, it's more likely that a 16 year old could get killed in a car accident than sailing around the world.

I say, I'm glad you are safe Abby and I hope you don't give up on your dream. I hope that I can be the kind of parent your parents are, and allow my daughter the freedom to follow her dream and spread her wings when I know that she is emotionally and mentally able to. Don't allow the press to break your spirit and doubt yourself. Only you know what you can handle and if you can do it, then I say go for it!

Would have been 13 years???

2010-05-24T23:21:00.003-04:00

Well, today is the first year since my daughters father and I separated and divorced that I did not cry on our anniversary. Today would have been 13 years of marriage and 19 years together. OMG, that's half of my life now, that I've known this man. However, I suppose I don't know him anymore really, do I? I always state, he may not have been the best husband, but he is a wonderful father. Except when he allows his wife to verbally bash me in emails, telling me what an irresponsible mother I am and how I use bad judgement. However, as this comes from a woman who cheated on her husband, the father of her daughter, I don't take her at her word of my character. I know that I love my daughter and my daughter knows that I love her and would give my life for her.

Am I bitter? Not anymore. In the beginning, I hated them both with every fiber of my being. They had destroyed what I thought was a good life between a husband and wife. However, I am at the stage of my life, that I love my life, my daughter and my family and friends. I know who truly matters in my life. There are times of course that I get melancholy and wonder, "what if". Heck, who in my shoes doesn't? But then I get a dose of reality and snap back into place. That reality is my daughter. Her father and I put her first in everything with our communications as it should be. I hear horror stories of divorcing or divorced parents who can't be in the same room as one another and I feel so bad for the children involved. Regardless of what happens between the parents, the child usually loves both. It is not fair to make them feel as if they have to choose which parent they love more. Granted, if one of the parents is a deadbeat? Well then, the child is better off without that influence in their lives.

While my marriage broke up, my daughters relationship with her father did not. She will have the choice when she is older to determine for herself how she feels. Right now, she only knows that mommy and daddy didn't play nicely together and we weren't able to stay married. Now my daughters step-mom and I got to a point in our lives that we were able to communicate relatively amicably with one another. However, this changed right around my birthday in November 2009. She continued an email that my ex stated saying how I am not a part of the family anymore, I am a pain in the butt and to just go away. WHAT? Where in the world did that come from? So we went back and forth until I finally got tired of being pushed against the wall and came out swinging quite nicely verbally. Needless to say, she did not respond because I hit the nail right on the head. So, now, because she can't stand me all of a sudden, she stopped going to my daughters bowling games and only comes to some of her softball games. Well, you know, that's fine with me. At this time, it doesn't seem to bother my daughter much, but who knows. This is a woman who has a Bachelor's in Psychology. You would think she would understand the importance of blended families and co-operative co-parenting. I am still a part of the family whether she likes it or not. I am the mother to one of the children of this family. She is an idiot to think otherwise. Do I love my ex-husband? Not in the way that sentence implies. He is the father of my daughter and will always have a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, I can't say that, with the way his wife feels and lashes out, he would necessarily say the same thing. This is regrettable because I know that once upon a time, he did love me, until this woman came into his life and "tried to help him understand our problems".

Has anyone else gone through this type of situation? What are your thoughts?

Feel like a parenting failure and other random parenting communications!

2010-04-01T21:34:00.005-04:00

So, today was Special Adult Visitor day at my daughter's school. Can I tell you how much I hate that I wasn't able to make it? I wish they gave us some notice when these things come along! She got the paperwork Friday and had to have it back to school by Monday. However, she was with her father over the weekend and never mentioned to him or me when we talked on the phone that it had to be in. Unfortunately, with my job, only three people can be off in a given day. Well, Monday, only hours before I got the paperwork, the third person got their request in :(

She ended up sharing her stuff with a friend and the friends dad. I really wish they would do these things when those of us who do have to work, can actually make it. I get so frustrated, because I feel like I should be super mom and make every event there is. I want to make up for the fact that her father and I became a statistic and got divorced and make sure she has someone there to support her in everything. I hate that I can't be everything I want to be for my little angel.

However, listening to other single parents, I hear horror stories of divorced parents who can't put their children first. One thing her father and I agree with is that she comes first in everything. Even on days that she is not with us, we make every effort to get to her activities. The only time we don't come is if we are out of town, or an emergency happened. While there are some things we don't deal well with one another, I know that I can count on him to help when it's necessary. As an example, my sister had a heart attack this past weekend. Well, one thing we had to worry about is how to get my niece after her own practice or softball games. When I talked with him, he was more than willing to help and pick her up on his way to bringing our daughter to her softball practice so I can take her home with me. My brother in law will then pick her up from my place to take her home with him. Now, I am actually waiting for the other foot to come down and his wife email me yelling at me about manipulating him or whatever she dreams up.

To change pills or not to change pills

2010-03-19T15:14:00.001-04:00

Currently my daughter is on Metadate CD 30 mg. This is a 1 a day time released pill. Works wonderfully during the school day which was our goal. However, we now have spring coming, therefore softball practice in the evenings a couple days a week after school. The pill is wearing off! This past week was her first week of practice and while it wasn't horrible, it definitely could have been better! Some of the things she did at softball clinics that her father signed her up for and she was acting like she never did them before!

The pill works great during the day and what I am afraid of is changing them and then start getting all the bad reactions that you hear about. Loss of appetite (she is a stick as it is! Can't afford to lose weight!), emotional (ok, she is emotional enough as well, don't need that either!), walking around like a zombie. I really am afraid of that one. I want her to still be able to enjoy being a kid! I'd like to see her beautiful smile when I look at her. Don't want to see lifelessness in her eyes. Definitely not a way to enjoy her kid years! My nephew has ADHD and my sister pointed out that he rarely ever smiled in pictures that she looked at. So looking at experience both of my sisters have had with their children, I am highly reluctant to put my daughter through that.

Have you had to change medications? What was the worst that happened?

More mortgage drama.... Six months later!!!!

2010-02-27T20:19:00.002-05:00

Ok, so this week I get a call at work from the lawyer who handled my closing. I knew I was having issues and had spoken with his office and I figured he was calling about those. Nope, what is he calling me about? He is calling to tell me that the mortgage papers that record my new home were lost in their office. They had no idea what happened to them. What???? So you are telling me that the mortgage isn't in my name?? I asked him. Seriously??? Ugh. So, thankfully this was an easy fix. I just had to go into the office to re-sign the paperwork and get it recorded with the state as being in my name.

On the plus side, I was telling him the issues that I had with my heater, having to tear out the rug and stain the hardwoods under it and a few other things. He told me to get a list to him and he would send a letter to the previous owners. I told him that I spoke with one of his lawyers already and they told me it would cost more in lawyer fees than I would get back from the previous owners. So this lawyer I met with today said, "well, I make those decisions, you get me a list and I will mail the previous owners and see if we can appeal to their good side". So, that works for me! I will get that list of things this week!

For those of you who have dealt with buying a house, what was the worst issue you've had to encounter?

Health Concern

2010-02-04T19:52:00.003-05:00

The past week or so I've been having a medical issue that I won't go into detail here. Now it's at the point the Dr wants me to go and get a CT Scan. I am scared of what may come out of this. But I know that I can't sit by and do nothing no matter how much at times I want to bury my head in the sand. So, I'm jumping in with both feet and getting it taken care of now. I have my scan scheduled for tomorrow and I will hope for the best...

I had developed a blood clot about 1 1/2 years ago when I flew out to California. So, I've been on blood thinners since then and will be on them for the rest of my life. It seems that when I started exercising regularly a few weeks ago, my metabolism sped up enough to affect my vitamin K and thinned my blood too much. So, we skipped a night and reduced the dosage after two weeks of too thin blood. I am hoping that this is something related to that and we can get this taken care of asap. I am only 37 years old. Yes, I know there are many more people out there with more medical conditions than I have, but I am just feeling sorry for myself.

Teeth Expander and upcoming braces

2010-01-18T21:45:00.003-05:00

Ugh. Ok, I know she needs it, but what really stinks is that dentists in certain locations can charge so much more than others. I just found out that the Expander for my daughter is going to cost dd father and I $925.00! OMG. This is after insurance. My dental insurance only covers 50% of all ortho work because it is considered cosmetic. Really??? My daughter's front side teeth were not coming in properly because she didn't have enough room for them to come through. How in the world is that considered cosmetic??? She should be able to get all of her teeth to come in. If her teeth are crooked afterwards, yes, I understand that is considered cosmetic, but getting rid of a cross-bite and shifting her jaw will stop future nasal passage issues as well as stop lockjaw, etc. This is not cosmetic! I am so frustrated right now with our insurance companies!

I've got to figure out how I am going to afford this as well. Obviously it will happen because I will do whatever I need to, to make sure my daughter's health is not affected in any way at all. I am actually in the process of looking for a part time job working with the 2010 census. I have an appointment to take the test this Wed, woohoo! I figure working a part time job will bring money into the house that we can definitely use!

However, as I was speaking with dd father, found out WITHOUT insurance, the expander and top braces only cost less than 3k for his step-daughter. The ortho that we went to today was talking about $5100 for a full set of braces. This is on top of the $1850 for the expander. WHAT? This is where the rant came from. How can these dentists vary so differently in prices??? That is completely rediculous. I can't believe that legal, or even ethical. I know that some doctors are in there to make money, but it's just sad that it is that way.

Ok, rant off. lol. How many of my single parent readers have gone through this? How do you handle things like this?

More joys of home ownership!

2010-01-03T20:31:00.000-05:00

I've had several people telling me that they smell gas when they come in my front door. I never smelled it! My sister told me a few weeks ago, a friend told me on Christmas day and then my daughters father today asked why he smelled gas. Ok, guess I REALLY need to call the electric/gas company. Less than 10 mins after I get off the phone, the fire department is at my door! OMG, really?????

So they went around the house, checking the vents, etc. After they realized that my house wasn't going to blow up right away, they left. Looked disappointed that they weren't going to need to use the axes they all carried in their hands! I, however, am grateful they didn't need to! The power company got to the house about an hour after the Fire Dept left. Told me to heat the house up good as they are going to have to shut off the gas. Found that the gas leak was from the valve directly. So, once the house was heated, that got shut off immediately.

They went to get the outside emergency valve shut off only to find that the box that surrounded it was rusted and dirt had filled the box up. So they then had to call in another department to have them come in and get the jackhammers out! Woohoo! That was fun. I now have just one guy left who said he should be done by 9. They are replacing all the pipes in the house as well as the valve. We will then test the heater and hot water heater because the pilot light had gone out on that.

After that I'll have my heat again! But think I will be smarter about using the heat. Need to go and get caulk so I can patch up any cracks in my windows. I'm just glad this was able to be resolved without anyone getting hurt!

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-31T00:23:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season! Christmas was great! I had my daughter with me for dinner. She was at her father's for the morning part. It was her first year not believing, so I didn't go to his house to watch her open her gifts. When I got her, she opened her presents from me.

I have off work this week and she and I had a great time. I was a little worried because she has been little miss attitude lately, but she was absolutely phenomenol the whole time she was with me. Saturday we went out shopping, she used gift cards and some cash that she had to get things that she didn't get for Christmas. Sunday we actually stayed in our PJ's all day! LOVED IT! Sunday night, we had a sleepover with a friend of hers and my niece also stayed overnight. Monday we went to Chuckie Cheese and they all had a blast playing the games and getting tickets :) Tuesday we vegged out again and Wednesday, we only went out for a couple of hours. I asked if she wanted to do anything else and she was like, no, I just want to stay home in my jammies because I never can! So, that's pretty much what we did. I think the downtime and allowing her to have her play time with her Christmas gifts did her a world of good. She slept in almost every day and she seemed really relaxed. With her having ADHD, I think it definitly helped her not having too much to do and just being able to do nothing.

How did you all spend your holiday?

Don't forget to check out the social media site I have set up and register! Single Parenting Social Networking.

Happy New Years!

Birthday and Parent/Teacher Conference

2009-12-17T20:58:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday, Dec 12th, was my little girls birthday! It was a great week before! She had Happy Birthday sang to her twice during the week. On her actual birthday, her grandparents drove up to see her and watch her bowl. That night she went on winter camping with her brownie troop. We had her Birthday Party the next day. Happened to be a bowling party! She had a wonderful weekend! Mommy is looking forward to a somewhat relaxing weekend!

Tonight we had her Parent/Teacher conference. The teacher had nothing but good things to say as I had fairly expected! Teacher said she is very competitive, lol. Wants to make sure she understand things and gets it done. They will start multiplication in January and the teacher told them they could practice. DD was the only one who went up and asked if she could use the flashcards to practice :) As always, I'm so proud of my baby girl :)

Sorry! It's been a while!

2009-12-09T10:27:00.002-05:00

I have been so busy getting my review blog up and running! Then of course the holiday season is upon us!

My heater is working perfectly now, woohoo! Thankfully the insurance company stepped up to the plate and agreed to pay. Although, I've had to contact the inspection company because there is every possibility that the inspector dropped the ball on that one. Then had to contact the lawyers office because it took someone TWO months to get my warranty application in. I was like, two months??? Really??? Argh! So, if there was proof that the heater broke after I bought the house and before they got the application, I would have had to pay that bill! I was so ready to flip a gasket, a few chairs, or whatever else made a lot of noise! But, thankfully, the issue was resolved peacefully and no furniture was hurt in the process.

I think as I've grown up, (ok, well as grown up as I'm going to get!), I've forgotten the drama of being a child! I love my daughter, her friends are fun and love playing at school. Well, my daughter and her best friend fight like sisters! It was actually brought to my attention and the other girl's mom's attention that they will get to the point they are yelling at each other and then they both end up crying. So, the other mom and I decided to tell them, no playing together on Monday, maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder! That worked for a bit, and they are now back at it. According to my daughter, the other girl does everything, it's never her fault. So I told her, stop playing with her so often, make other friends and deal with things that way. "But Mommy! We're best friends!" She cries. I don't know what else to tell you kid, lol.

DD bowls every Saturday. Absolutely loves it. The Saturday after Thanksgiving, she shot her high of 102. Then the next week, she shot her new high of 103, woohoo! She has bowled in two tournaments. One with her father and the other with three other girls that bowl in her league. We tell her to just have fun. Her father is big into bowling and will give her pointers after the first half.

I got a new job! Yaaayyyy! It's a grade level higher than where I am now, but until I am out of training, the pay is a lateral move, booooo. But, it's a good thing. I get to learn a different department and I will no longer be on the phones! After 18 years in Customer Service, it gets a little thin. I love working with Customers, but being on the phone day in and day out can wear you out. I hate talking on the phone when I get home now. I only text. Don't answer the phone when people call. That's pretty bad. I start my new job on the 15th, I will be on the phones though the Monday after to help with call volume, but after that, it's all in my new department.

Oh, and had a lovely issue with my daughter's step mother. She feels that I need to go away because I am no longer part of the family. Ummm, hello. I am the mother and will always be part of the family. I don't force myself on his family. To which she responded that she knows I do because I do it to her. Well, I conversed with her about things because she asked. I honestly don't know what happened. It seems like she completely regressed to where we were three or four years ago. I told her to deal with her insecurity and from now on, any problems she has, go thru her husband and he will contact me with things he finds important. Unfortunately, I think it has to do with the fact that I bought my ex-father-in-law a birthday cake. I happened to go to the beach that weekend for my birthday and decided to stop in for a few hours to catch up. She feels that I am constantly in their lives and making it harder for her to become part of the family. Well, after five years, you should be part of it!

Oh, well, I'm happy with my life and what I've accomplished on my own and can't help but feel bad that she is still insecure that she feels she has to attack me for the smallest thing she can find wrong that usually only exists as something wrong in her own head.

Being a single mama and the ex-wife can be quite challenging, don't you think??? lol.

XOXOXOXO
Jacqui

Update on heater

2009-11-10T21:11:00.002-05:00

So, the warranty company had the heating company that they use come out and the guy shut my gasline off completely and told me to go buy space heaters until they could get the part in. The good thing, the warranty company agreed to replace the draft inducer housing as the heater guy couldn't determine how or when the crack happened.

So as of now, I have two space heaters. One in my bedroom and the other in the living room. Tonight shouldn't be too bad. My little girl will be bunking with me until this is fixed. However, the guy was telling me that it could take a bit for the shipping. WHAT????? Are you kidding me? This is an emergency! What do you mean it's going to take a bit??? This part should be sent overnight, if not, second day delivery!!! So I called the heating company back and told them to tell the warranty if it comes to it, I'll pay the difference between ground shipping and either overnight or 2nd day air. I mean, I'm glad that they are paying for the part and all. Don't think I'm ungrateful or anything, but it shouldn't be expected of me to pay the difference between ground shipping and 2nd day delivery....

I honestly can't believe that the previous owners didn't know about half the stuff I've had to do. I am a single mother who cannot afford to place this much money into repairs! I may as well have bought a new home lol.

More to come later!

Home Ownership. Why????

2009-11-04T22:56:00.002-05:00

So, I had my sister come over and wait for the heater guy come out to service my heater. What happens? My heater is completely out of code! There is no return, which I knew. Was going to have that fixed. Apparently there is a crack in the inducer housing which could cause Carbon Monoxide poisoning. WHAT??? Legally, he advised, keep the heater off. Realistically, he knows its going to get cold, so crack open a window. Thank God my daughter is with her father until Tuesday night. So, off to the Home Warranty Ins company. I will have the heater company call them to give them all the details, however, most likely, I will have to have my furnace replaced. Gots to get this done NOW! I don't want to take a chance with me and my daughter being in this house. We should not have to keep our window cracked to stay warm and safe!

The previous owner was supposedly this contractor. Well, I can tell you, he should never have been in that field. He completely stunk. Or was just completely lazy with his own house. Granted the heater is 17 years old, but the way it was put in, decreased how long it could have lasted. The heating company said that whoever did the installation did a really shoddy job of it! So, this is just another wonderful thing to add to my list of things that had to be done to this house. Yaayyyy.

Winner of the Avon Shower Gel and Lotion is....

2009-10-26T21:25:00.003-04:00

Nicole! Congratulations!

**Nicole** said...
I love their jewelry! :)

I've sent an email to you Nicole! Please respond within 48 hours with your contact information. I will have this out to you by the end of the week. If I do not hear from Nicole in the next 48 hours, I will then select another winner.

Thank you to everyone who entered! I hope you are enjoying my blog :)

All about mommy weekend

2009-10-26T15:33:00.004-04:00

I decided to take myself on a mini vacay to the beach. I am turning 37 years old and just want to get away from the hassles of everything! My daughter will be with her father to go trick or treating. This is the first year I haven't had to take her. I normally would have, but he is making time up with her that he had a vacation during his time and asked me to keep her with me.

But I felt, why should I have to wait to go somewhere? This is the first time I've ever done this. I won't have to go on a schedule of what to do and when. If I want to stay in the hotel the whole time I can! I can get an Oceanfront room at around $70.00 for the night! How great is that? And it's going to be a great weekend. Low 70's one day and mid 60's the next! I can keep the curtains open and wake up to the sunrise over the ocean. I am REALLY looking forward to this new experience! The more I think about it, the more I am ready to go!

I'll get back early enough on Sunday to enjoy a birthday dinner with my daughter, family and friends :) I can't wait!

Has any other single mom just taken themselves off on vacation by themselves? What did you do? Did you have fun or miss having someone with you?

Has it really been a year???

2009-10-23T23:12:00.003-04:00

A year ago today, my mom passed away. She had COPD and lung cancer. This woman was my best friend and it was one of the worst days to ever go through. I knew it would be hard, but it was a bit harder than I had anticipated. I did go to work and when I saw something that reminded me of my mom, or if I came across a borrower who had the same name, I just started blubbering. I miss this woman every day. I want to get on the phone and talk with her, but I can't. I do still talk with her, but to hear her voice would be what I wish for. Although, I do have that wish. My mom had a trach put in and one day, she had a speaking valve put on. She called and I had left my phone outside. So she left me a message. Being able to hear her voice whenever I needed to, is such a blessing. Hearing her tell me that she loves me and that she loves my daughter, is something I hope to never have to give up! I still need to get that recording put on a CD so I don't lose it when I change phones.

But so much has happened this past year, that I really can't believe it's been a year! I graduated from college, bought a house. Hopefully stress doesn't come and bite me on the butt!

Love you Mom. I miss you so much. You are the angel on my shoulder and your granddaughters shoulder watching over us.

Confusion!!!!

2009-10-20T23:17:00.003-04:00

So, the past two weeks, my daughter and I have been arguing back and forth. She has been disrespectful and that drives me up a wall! However, it's been more so the last few weeks. Everything I ask, her response is with attitude. Is it just this age group? I've taken to letting her know that if she continues on this path, she will be in bed early! And I've done it a couple of times, so she knows I will do it and have no problems continuing it. I've explained to her that all I want is for her to answer me in a civil tone. I don't think that is too much to ask! I can tell she has been trying, however, a lot of times, it still comes out with attitude.

Does anyone else have a child around the 8 year old range that is having problems with this? What have you done to try and turn it around so they don't grow up as brats?

New Looney Tunes Gift Basket winner!!!

2009-10-19T14:05:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, due to no further communication for contact information, I was instructed by Warner Brothers to pick a new winner. And the new winner as chosen by random.org was NightOwlMama! Congratulations! An email has been sent to you. Please respond within 48 hours so we may get this out to you!

Night Owl Mama said...
I keep offering I find what they like and I put that out. My daughter is super picky likes Raw carrots but not cooked ones. My oldest Raw potato's not cooked ones.
My youngest and middle boys love all veggies believe it or not. It amazes me too. I eat it they try and try and try again til they eat it. ITs super funny. Just keep offering Raw and cooked they are bound to like one flavor

New Social Network on Ning

2009-10-15T21:28:00.002-04:00

I wanted to let everyone know that while I will still be blogging here, I also set up a Social Networking site through Ning. You can visit Single Parenting Challenges to see what it is all about :) As of now, there are no members obviously, but I am looking forward to seeing where this will go! This site is a step that I chose to take to get prepared for the website that is being developed over the next few months.

Stop by and let me know what you think!

The joys of being a Chauffeur and other mishaps.

2009-10-11T22:55:00.003-04:00

Well, this weekend went SO fast! My daughter had so much to do and all I had to do was drive her there, lol. She had her bowling league on Saturday morning. We came home, had lunch, then back out to a Girl Scout Science class in the afternoon. Was able to relax last night. Then had a Birthday party for her friend this afternoon. While she was there, I was able to do some errands.

Unfortunately, while at the party, with money I allowed her to take, she decided to play video games. Had kids from the party watching her, with no money of their own, and not skating. The birthday mom told me what happened, and I felt SO bad. I had her apologize twice to the mom. Informed her that in the future, she will only take exactly the amount for a bottle of water and that was it. This was mostly my fault and I do take blame as I really should not have allowed her to take money in. But, I placed some of the responsibility on her and told her she should have realized it wouldn't have been fair. And then when the mom asked her to put her money away, apparently my daughter said "no". Ugh! She has been on a kick of not liking half of what I have to say and throwing little fits. For the past two weeks, it's been rough. So, for the "no" comment, all electronics were taken away from her for the night. I told her I was not going to be raising a rude and disrespectful child and I will get that out of her one way or another. Even if I had to start taking things away from her until her room is empty!

On a plus side, this weekend, we did completely finish unpacking her bedroom. Only one box left in there and that had decorations that we are waiting for her shelves to be put up. I am hoping to have them up by the housewarming party. This week, I am really going to have to work on my bedroom to get things unpacked. I have pictures I need to get put up before then as well. Problem I am running into is that I have plaster walls. Can't exactly just hammer a nail into it! But I am determined to have the pictures up by the end of the month "keeping my figers crossed!"

Free Avon Shower Gel and Body Lotion

2009-10-10T12:38:00.006-04:00

Hello to all my moms out there! I am currently doing a giveaway for Avon Natural's Raspberry scent Shower Gel and Body Lotion! The reason for this giveaway is simple. I want to get my blog out there to other single mom's and dad's. I will be starting a website for single parents in the next couple of months and want to have more people know that I'm going to be there! I am also an Avon Independent Consultant :)

This giveaway is available only to U.S. residents. This contest ends October 24th or when I get to 50 followers.

To get entries for this giveaway, please do the following:

- Leave a comment stating what your favorite item with Avon is
- Become a follower
- Follow me on Twitter at SingleMama1101
- Blog about this giveaway (2 entries)

Thank you and good luck!

Sick Mommy :(

2009-10-06T21:33:00.003-04:00

I actually feel fine..... When I'm sitting or laying down. When I attempt to walk is where the problem comes in. When I walk, I have to look down at the floor to keep my balance. When I look straight ahead, everything moving throws me completely off balance. Dr said I either have mild case of vertigo or fluid in the inner ear. What?!?!?!? I've never had this happen before!

I've already called my daughter's father to come and get our daughter to take her to school. I don't want to take the chance of driving, having a dizzy spell and getting into an accident. I hate asking him to do that since he lives about 35 - 40 mins from my house and her school is about 15 - 20 in the direction he is coming from. But, he agreed that he doesn't want to take the chance on me getting into an accident and will deal with it.

I went to go upstairs earlier and had to stop I was so lightheaded. Thankfully daughter wasn't aware of that. I didn't want to worry her too much. So, I'll be a good girl and just relax tomorrow and go back to work (hopefully) on Thursday. I was supposed to have the heater company come out and service my heater that day, but with taking time off tomorrow, I can't really afford the time off that day. So my sister is going to come over to the house for me on the 21st when I rescheduled, so I don't have to take the time off.

My first payment!

2009-10-04T19:31:00.004-04:00

I made my first mortgage payment for a house I bought on my own today!!!! AHHHHHHHH. It hit me again the huge responsibility I have here now! I almost freaked out completely! It's one thing living in an apartment. You can leave after a year. But right now, I am here and can't leave until the house actually sells when I decide I want to move!

Then I took a few deep breaths and realized that I am a strong and determined woman. I am independent and I know I will do what I have to do to get things done. I am making a great impression on my daughter and know that I am a wonderful role model for her. For her to see that her mother can do it will show her that she can do anything she puts her mind to. That is very important to me. To know that she knows anything she wants to do in life, she can. I love my little girl!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Oh what a week!

2009-10-02T21:58:00.003-04:00

Actually the week wasn't too bad. Unfortunately my darling daughter didn't have that great of a night Monday night into Tuesday morning. We had big ole arguments both times. She ended up in bed early Monday night and again almost on Tuesday night. Just over the smallest things. I honestly can't remember what happened Monday night to set her off.

However, Tuesday morning she decided to take something from our home to her home with her father, for picture day on Thursday. Well, the background she chose was "Galaxy". So, black, blue and stars. Up until this, she was having a WONDERFUL morning. So I calmly suggested that she take something a little brighter that will "pop" in the picture. She got upset and was like, "I don't have ANY nice clothes!". Keep in mind, this darling child of mine is a tomboy all the way. So I told her, it's not a problem, you have a lot of nice clothes, you just don't like to wear them. I said that if we couldn't find anything, I would go to the store and get her a cute top. Not a big deal. She apparently was under the assumption that she couldn't ask for this! I was like, what? If it's nothing you absolutely don't need, no, don't ask. But for something nice to wear in picture day, of course we don't mind you asking! She just wasn't getting it!

I ended up having her talk to her father because I just couldn't deal with it. I was so frustrated and upset. This was all before 7:30 am. I was tired before even getting to work! So it finally got straightened out and I informed her that if she had a bad night with me again Tuesday she would go to bed eary yet again. Then told her if she waited until it was too late for her to go to bed early that night, the punishment extended to her fathers. That included Wed morning as well. Well, she didn't have a bad night or morning!

I know it has to do with her ADHD and I don't like her feeling like she is in trouble because of that, but I am trying to help her make better choices when the medication wears off! I'm not always going to be following behind her to pick up the destruction that can be wrought if she doesn't pay attention.

Wed night I went out with friends and we had our discussion on how to get our websites up and running. Seems that we may have this up and going within the next two months. Woohoo! I am so excited! I have so many plans for the site and I can't wait to put it to the screen :). We are rolling things out in phases. It will take a few phases to get things in place, however, we understand at the beginning, we are not going to have a huge following, so we'll do things a bit slower than I want, but completely understand why we have to do it slower. My thoughts is, I want everything done and I want it now. lol. That's just me being completely impatient. Never claimed patience was a virtue with me!

Looney Tunes Gift Basket Winner!

2009-09-28T21:24:00.001-04:00

Laura is the winner as selected by http://www.random.org/ for the Looney Tunes Gift Basket valued at $100.00! Congratulations! An email has been sent to you regarding this. If we don't hear from you within 48 hours another winner will be picked.

Thank you all for your comments!

Laura said...
My daughter is 13, and I still can't get her to put anything green in her mouth, but her doc says give her vitamins & she'll be fine. I would like to see her eat more vegetables than corn though.

Oh my! What a weekend surprise(s)!

2009-09-28T15:25:00.003-04:00

I had gone to New York for the weekend with a friend. Started out on Friday, had an earache, headache, etc. Decided to still go and hope for the best. Figured worse case, hit the medical aid unit when I got back on Sunday. Earache was gone by Saturday thank goodness! My friend and I planned to go to a club there that Saturday, but alas, it was not meant to be. We got back to the hotel, completely exhausted! We decided to wait until about 10 to go out. Well, that didn't happen! We crashed, lol. We were so tired from all the walking we did, it just didn't happen!

Then we came home Sunday. I was all prepared to get unpacked, laundry started and straighten up a bit and relax. Nope, apparently the house was jealous that I didn't do anything with it for the first time in almost 2 months and killed my fridge! I had to get rid of most things in the fridge part, however, the freezer I was able to save some things. Only because I still had a bag of ice in there that kept it cold!

So, off to Lowes I go with one brother in law. Bought a new fridge and brought it home the same day so I wouldn't lose much food. Got it in and looks good! It was a little sooner than I planned on getting a new fridge, but it happened for a reason I suppose! It now matches the rest of my appliances! Fun way to come home! Good thing I didn't have to go to the medical aid unit still. Couldn't have done everything! Thank God for wonderful family who I know I can count on :)

The little things in life!

2009-09-24T18:43:00.002-04:00

I had off work today and again tomorrow. I took advantage of it and went to my daughters school and had lunch with her. It was fantastic! She kept asking me to come and join her for lunch last year and I just wasn't able to. So I did it today and it was so much fun. Just the look on her face when she saw me standing by the cafeteria doors was so worth it! She was so surprised and started walking slower. I think she was trying to figure it I was real or not, lol. Then she runs up and gave me a huge hug.

We got in line and got our lunch. Fruit, Hot Dogs, Fries and Milk. Now I remember what I DON'T miss about school lunches, rofl. Actually though, the roll was whole wheat, so that was good to see that they are doing more to make sure kids were eating healthier!

Poor little girl and upcoming trip

2009-09-22T20:50:00.005-04:00

My poor baby came down sick yesterday. Coughing up a storm. Appears though that she is getting better quickly. Not coughing as much. Sent her into to school with medicine and cough drops. She was making sure that I send her in with cough drops tomorrow. I'll have to make sure and send her in with the triaminic cold strips. She goes with her father tomorrow night, and I need to keep meds here.

This Friday I am heading to NYC, woohoo! It's been about 1 1/2 months since I bought my house and EVERY weekend I've been doing this or that with it. I'm just so excited to get away and have some fun. Planning on hitting the outlets at some point Friday, chillin and exercising at the hotel that night. Going into the city Saturday, then back to the hotel to get ourselves ready for a nite at a club back in the city. Planning on having a blast!

Another friend of mine and I are looking to take another trip for my birthday. So, what shall it be.... New Orleans or Mexico? Wherever we go, we will have a blast. She is the one that we always try to take a long weekend vacation at some point. The last time we did that, she flew me out to CA where she lives and did the touristy thing in Malibu, Santa Monica, Hollywood, Beverly Hills and LA. Unfortunately when I got home, found out I had a bloodclot :(. But on bloodthinners now, so, looking forward to getting some fun travel time in!

This weekends ups and downs

2009-09-20T10:20:00.004-04:00

As stated, I had a yard sale yesterday. Had two days to get it all together and ready. I was up and out the door by 7:25 and had everything laying out there by 8am. I had my brother in law there maning my sisters stuff while she was out there garage saling. I missed my daughters bowling to be here. 8:30 am we had one person stop. 8:45 a neighbor walks by and purchases something, however, she mentions that our street is having a sale on October 3rd... I was like, ok, I cannot do that because I am already missing two weeks of my daughters bowling because I won't be in town next week. Had my sister double check the paper. Sure enough, the town is having a community sale October 3rd!!! OMG. That whole day, I made $5.40. My daughter made $2.00. My sister did about $20.00. So, my brother in law told me he would man the sale while I took my daughter to bowling in two weeks. I could NOT believe it! lol.

Projects around the house were resumed when my other brother in law came by. I am having a door put in, in the basement. I don't know what the people were thinking, but there was no door leading out to the bilko doors! So, we go the frame put in and hope to have the door put in. This will also keep out rodents who want to come in and play! This same brother in law will be cutting down a portion of my tree that hangs over the side of one of my neighbors yard as well as on her roof! The pictures shown are of this tree. It covers 3 yards! The second picture shows the tree on my neighbors roof. The first shows the other side. I am the 3rd house in from the end, so you can see how far out it goes and the last is of my backyard from my door. At the end of the deck there where the steps are, I have a jacuzzi. We will be cutting all those branches down!

Time to Purge!

2009-09-17T22:55:00.002-04:00

I was just told today that my town is having a yard sale this Saturday. Can I tell you? I can't wait! I went down to my basement tonight and put stuff at the bottom that I am getting rid of. I'll have more room in my basement, woohoo!!! Anything that does not get sold will be taken to Goodwill so I don't have to take it back in the house.

Moving a house into an apartment is hard enough. My new home is a bit bigger than the apartments I've lived in the past five years. However, it's still not as big as the house and unfortunately I still have a lot of things to do. My daughter even stepped up to the plate and put stuff in bags and boxes that she doesn't wear, doesn't fit or she just doesn't want.

Even after both of us going through our stuff, we still have so much stuff. Anyone want to take it all off my hands? I'll just start over, lol. It's all good. It will work out and I'll get the house in order. May take a bit of time, but that's what yard sales and Goodwill are for!

I knew she would do it!

2009-09-16T22:05:00.003-04:00

Well, my daughter had her Measurement of Academic Progress (MAP) on Monday and she got a 206! For beginning the third grade, she should have been about 192. Math is definitely her thing. She loves doing it and is always asking me for math problems when we are in the car. Love it! Unfortunately, math isn't my thing! I already told her father that should she have any questions as she gets older and into Algebra and so forth, it's all him! I failed Algebra miserably. I really just cannot comprehend letters in math! So, hopefully she doesn't have the mental block I did in that area!

Don't Forget!

2009-09-14T21:39:00.001-04:00

To follow my new blog for reviews of product testing that I do plus contest and free giveaways that I personally love and want my readers to know about!

http://singlemama-reviewcorner.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

This weekend was great!

2009-09-13T23:04:00.003-04:00

Had a relatively busy/relaxing weekend! My daughter is on a bowling league, so we did that bright and early Saturday morning. I think she was bored having only me there and wasn't really caring what she did. She bowled a 37, 29 and then 52. The 52 was when I told her she had to get 25 more pins and we would go to Starbucks and get a strawberry and cream frappicino. She ended up getting a slurpee from 7 - 11, her choice.

My two brothers in law came over to take a look at the leak in my tub to find out what's going on. Ended up having to get a new faucet because the pressure from stopping the faucet for the showerhead was either too much, or there was a crack. Oh the joys! But thankfully it was a cheap and easy fix which was completed today. Woohoo! No more leaks into my garden window in the kitchen below. Always a good thing! Also had to go and buy a pump to replace what is in my toilet now. Don't know what the set up is from previous owners, but it's gone! Also got a door for my basement. Ended up having to get an interior door because the height was a problem and we needed to be able to cut it to size. Sooooo, that will be done next weekend. No worries of allowing mice to enter and run free!

My daughter went fishing for the first time today. She caught 6 fish! She was so excited, lol. Said she had one that was about 2 feet long, but it dropped back in the water and got away. She can't wait to go again!

I am supposed to be going away in two weeks, but still don't have a clue where! Just want to go somewhere and get away. A mini vacay is always recommended! A friend and I were looking at either Chicago or Austin. Trying to figure which place will be cheaper on the airfare budget between the two coasts!

So Proud!

2009-09-11T22:17:00.002-04:00

My daughter took her Measurement of Academic Progress (MAP) test for reading yesterday and scored a 197! According to her teacher, that is higher than average for beginning third grade! While I am always of course proud of my little girl, this shows me that we did the right thing last year in putting her on medication for her ADHD. This helps her focus and show her true potential. She has her math MAP next week, and I expect her to do very well with that as Math is her thing. Can't wait to see how she does!

She also decided to write a letter to the counselor at her school yesterday with another friend of hers. Apparently there is this boy who has been teasing the two of them and she was "not going to deal with him being a bully and is putting a stop to it NOW". Her words! I'm glad that I don't have to encourage her to speak up for herself. She is a girl who knows her own mind and will do what she has to to get the results she wants.

An example tonight, I picked her up from school after work and she starts with her little attitude. So I tell her, you need to knock it off or you will go to bed early tonight. I have been sick this past week and just didn't feel like dealing with it. Her statement was "I am going to rethink how I am responding and changing my attitude now mommy. I don't want to have a bad night." And she did. She had a wonderful night tonight. With the rain, we decided to veg out in front of the TV and just relax. It was a great evening :)

My new up and coming Blog

2009-09-10T15:29:00.002-04:00

Hi there!

I just set up a new blog that I will be posting reviews/testing/WB Word of Mouth programs/contests on. I found that I was getting away from what I wanted this blog to be about and want to get back to that. The new blog URL is http://singlemama-reviewcorner.blogspot.com/. Stay tuned for upcoming blogs! Add as a follower to stay informed :)

Another hiccup in home ownership

2009-09-10T12:33:00.002-04:00

I honestly don't know how the house did not fall down around the previous owners of my new home. Since I've owned the home, now just over a month I've done the following:

- tore up carpets due to bad odor of allowing the dogs to do what they wanted
- cut out part of the ceiling in my kitchen due to water damage
- re-screened 3 windows and my french doors screen
- completely cleaned out the cabinets due to mice running around
- replaced the stove as theirs was broken
- sanded beautiful hardwood floors in the bedrooms where aforementioned carpet was removed
- power washed deck and sidewalk and cleaned out under the deck because it was so dirty!

I am now having to most likely replace plumbing in the shower because when you take a shower, the water leaks down into the garden window. I have to replace the dishwasher because only the rinse cycle works and the refridgerator because it is old and newly discovered nasty. I also have to get duct work put in because there is no return throughout the house, therefore, if bad air in the basement, comes upstairs. I also have to put a door in the basement to the bilko doors. The bilko doors are secure, but in the winter it's going to be freezing! No wonder their electric bill was close to 300.00 a month! I will also need to have my frenchdoors fixed because previously mentioned dogs used them as their personal chew toys. REALLY?????? I understand the love of dogs, but come one! Have you heard of training them????

How can people allow this to happen when they do own a beautiful home??? Take care of things when it happens and it doesn't become overwhelming. I understand that it can cause financial hardship, but if you catch it early and individually it's not that bad. These people bought the house 33 years ago for 12,000.00. They put themselves into debt by all the upgrades they did at once.

I may sound like I am complaining, but, I really am not. It just blows my mind when I know that this is a wonderful house and they let it go to rot after everything they did. However, this home is going to be mine and I know that I will have everything taken care of and loved. I have wonderful family and friends that I can count on to help when it comes down to it. And learning to do things is going to be fun!

Week 3 Looney Tunes Eating Healthy Program!

2009-09-09T20:14:00.002-04:00

This weeks topic is Healthy is not a dirty word! Some children may think healthy eating habits is not in their best interest? Why is this? Do we as parents lack the time to really sit down and encourage our kids to express their thoughts and opinions about healthy eating? I know for myself, I am always on the go and there are times I'll grab what's easy, however, I try to be good about getting the snack to go bags that are healthy too.

How do you ensure your kids are eating healthy at school? What are some of your kids favorite snacks?

My daughter and I go over her lunch menu and circle the items she is going to get each day that she is going to buy from school. I have to trust that she is going to follow our choices of fruits and veggies.. My daughter's favorite snack is pretzels and strawberries. Not saying she doesn't like her ice cream mind you! However, I get the frozen yogurt and she really can't tell the difference.

As always, don't forget that we are going to raffle off a gift basket with the Looney Tunes theme valued at $100.00. There are two more weeks before this will be done. I have been employed by Warner Bros. to help get the word out there to everyone about their program. I look forward to hearing your comments!

Mom Logic Looney Tunes Eating Healthy basket giveaway

2009-09-04T12:41:00.000-04:00

Hi there! I have the link to mom logic that you can also enter to win a different gift basket for this program. Check it out and enter to win! http://www.momlogic.com/2009/08/win_it_looney_tunes_eating_right_safeway.php

Good Luck!

What are you doing

2009-09-02T21:56:00.004-04:00

to save money? There are a number of things that can be done and I am trying them out. What are you all doing to save money each month?

I am getting rid of my land line. I have Verizon and most of my family and friends are on this. I have 1500 out of network text messaging and can communicate that way before 9pm.

I decreased my mbps on my Internet connection and barely noticed a difference. I went from 16mbps to 12 mbps and with specials I am paying over $40.00 less than I was.

I am being more conscious of buying groceries on sale and going to start using more coupons. I will start planning meals around what is on sale at the store, not on what I want for that week.

So, what are you doing to bank a little extra each month?

Picture of gift basket that will be awarded

2009-09-01T20:56:00.002-04:00

Looney Tunes Eating Right Kids Gift Basket

Warner Bros. Consumer Products and Safeway, Inc. have teamed up to create a better-for-you line of food products for children, uniting flavor and nutrition with the iconic Looney Tunes characters. The Eating Right Kids food line featuring Bugs Bunny, Marvin the Martian, Daffy Duck and others offers more than 60 items across 18 categories including breakfast foods, produce, portable meals, dairy, snacks, beverages and frozen entrees - making it easy for moms to spot healthier food and beverage items for their kids that taste great.

Items in the basket include:

Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 1

Tweety T-shirt from Junk Food

Looney Tunes plush item

Looney Tunes stationary or home good

Eating Right Kids "green" shopping bag from Safeway

Eating Right Kids post card

Eating Right Kids Products (non perishable) in a branded lunch box

Canned Ravioli with Daffy or Microbowl with Tweety

Tri-color Wheat Rotini with Sylvester and Tweety

Apple Juice with Taz

Chewy Bar with Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner

Please note: If an item listed in the giveaway prize is not available, it will be replaced with a similar item of equal value.

Week 2 Looney Tunes Eating Healthy Program

2009-08-31T21:03:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful past week! This week we are going to discuss the question "How do you teach your children about healthy eating choices? What works best for your family?"

With my daughter having ADHD, I explain to her that eating certain foods that are not healthy can affect the way her medication works for her. However, I also explain to her that eating healthy should be a way of life, not because you have to. What works for my household is taking the time to explain to her why eating healthy is good for you and how it makes you feel better. She doesn't want to hear round about answers. Straight answers and research is the best way for my family.

So, how do you teach your children a healthy eating lifestyle? I look forward to hearing what works best for you! Don't forget to go to www.momlogic.com/eating_right_kids/ for more information. Next week, Momlogic's expert nutritionist will be answering questions that you may have! So submit your questions and she will be answering them the week of Sept 14th.

I've included some links to sample menu's for healthy eating, take a look! www.thehealthyeatingguide.com/healthyeatingplans.html and http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/family/specialfeature/backtoschool_food_sf/

Don't forget, one of my readers who reads and comments about their experiences will win a gift basket worth $100.00 with the Looney Tunes theme. Good Luck!

Charm Bracelet Giveaway! Take a look!

2009-08-29T21:25:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone! There is a charm bracelet giveaway going on. Visit http://winningmommys.blogspot.com/2009/08/charm-factory-bracelet-giveaway-and.html

for more information. Good luck!

Product testing and other random ideas

2009-08-27T13:05:00.005-04:00

Well, I am now officially a product tester, woohoo! I got my first assignment from Good Housekeeping. Thank you guys for giving me this opportunity! I've been wanting to get into product testing and affiliation programs for a while now and things seem to be falling into place. Working with WB Word of Mouth has been great and I am looking forward to working more with them on projects they have upcoming. I've also applied to Pinecone Research and hope to hear something there. I'd also love to review books as I am a big reader and now have more time. I am currently reading Alyson Noel's "the immortals" series Evermore. this is the first book in the series and I am loving it! It's quirky and I love paranormal things, so this was right up my alley!

I have so many ideas of what I want to do, but now to get them up and running! I am hoping by the end of the year to have a website up and running for not only single mom's, but single dad's too. Wish me luck! Now that I am in my house and relatively settled, I am hoping to have more time to get my ideas out of my head and out on paper or the web! I'll update everyone with what is going on as it happens :)

Looney Tunes Eat Right program Kick off information

2009-08-24T21:39:00.005-04:00

Hi there!

I am part of the WB Word of Mouth Marketing program. For the next 5 weeks, you will see information from me regarding eating right. Please note that my readers that comment to my blogs will be eligible to win a gift basket that is valued at $100.00. This gift basket will have items with the looney toons theme. Enjoy reading and I look forward to hearing everyone's comments!

What personal challenges do you face getting your family to eat healthy? Well, my main challenge is how busy I am! I want things that can be done quickly and sometimes that is not the healthiest way to eat. I've been doing small things to institute healthier eating though. Instead of getting regular pasta dishes, I am now getting the whole wheat/grain pastas. They taste so much better! And what your children don't know won't hurt them! My daughter actually likes the wheat/grain products better, so this works to my advantage.

My daughter also prefers healthier meals with fruits and veggies. Her favorite is celery with cream cheese and raisins. Visit www.momlogic.com/eating_right_kids/ for more healthy tips to get your children to eat healthier! This site also has links for coupons to assist you with your choice of healthier eating. Check it out. This site is run by Haylie Pomroy who is a Nutritionist with a great many tips for a healthier lifestyle.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your comments. More information will be included on how to win this gift basket and a picture will be shown later this week as well. Have a wonderful week!

Third night here

2009-08-18T21:28:00.003-04:00

Well, I am fully moved in and have my internet connection back! My daughters first night at the house was last night. She LOVED her room. We are keeping toys out of her room and in the bonus room in the basement. With her ADHD, I am hoping this will help her stay focused when she needs to. And her room is looking like a little girls room! Not like the room we had at the apartment. I can't wait to have all the boxes unpacked though! This way her closet, my closet and everything will be put away.

I knew I had a lot of stuff, but OMG. I had more than even I thought I had!!!! Completely unbelievable how much stuff you can have and not even realize it! As I am unpacking, I am going to have quite a few boxes just for the yard sale. I need to get it out of here!

Also, I'm hoping to get into doing reviews and product testing. Just found out today that I was accepted to the Warner Brother Word of Mouth program! I'll be filling out the paperwork tomorrow and getting that in so I can start getting assignments. Have no idea what to expect, but I am looking forward to it!

Hopefully when I post again in a few days, I'll be able to say I have more stuff unpacked. I have ea four day weekend coming up and I'll be using three of those days to unpack. But still at my leisure. My ankles started swelling again today :( Hopefully get that under control soon. Take care and have a wonderful week everyone!

Homeownership

2009-08-10T20:41:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness. This past weekend has been crazy busy!!! Friday I was at the new house getting stuff done around the house. My sister just spent the whole day over there. She ended up there for 12 hours! Saturday I had a painting party. Had 8 people over helping to get it done and we would have! We had all the rooms pretty much done. However, the paint I bought for the living room from Sears was wrong! The first can was darker and when we went to do the 2nd coat with the 2nd can of paint, it was lighter! OMG, so mad. So we took the paint back to Sears and they replaced the two cans for free and also threw in a 3 pack of paint rollers.

We also figured out that not only did we have to pull the carpet out of my daughters bedroom, we had to take it out of the hallway and my bedroom. These people just let their dog go all over the place! I just could not believe it! It was SO disgusting. As if that wasn't bad enough, I ordered a Washer/Dryer and Stove from Best Buy. I got a call from the Wearhouse and they told me that they sold my stove and they didn't have a dryer on order. I could NOT believe it! So, off I go to Best Buy and pitch a fit to the manager. The end result is, I got a better stove where they knocked off 170.00 and for my inconvenience they upgraded my electric dryer to a gas dryer at no additional charge. I was nice, but they heard me! I have spent so much in the last week. OMG, I can't wait to stop using my credit cards!

I am now sitting at my laptop with leg up because my ankle is SO swollen from standing so much doing stuff at the house. More later!

Settlement today!

2009-08-06T21:53:00.002-04:00

Alright! I am now a new homeowner! I am so excited and proud of myself. I am doing this on my own and it is very scary! As it is, it appears that I am going to have to find a part time job. Most likely just one day a week or two days just to supplement my income.

Then as we are going through the house, we notice a smell. OMG, it was pretty bad. Sellers said, oh we shampoo'd the carpets, but as the night went on, we just couldn't take it. Finally, my brother in law comes over, we tear up some of the carpet in my daughter's room. And we discover what the smell is... Apparently they used that room for the dogs. Pee stains through the carpet. UGH! Ok, so brother in law is going to come back over tomorrow with cutters and at least cut out her carpet as that is where most of the smell is coming from. Going to have to get the floors cleaned with bleach to try and get the smell out of the hardwood floors. I think I'm going to leave it as hardwood instead of putting carpet over it. I like hardwood floors better, so that works. Will eventually do that to my bedroom, the hallway and quite possibly the stairs.

As if that wasn't enough... Found that the dryer had a gas hook up. So, going to have to get an electrician out to the house if I find that my dryer doesn't have a gas hookup. Argh!!!

On the plus side, the sellers put in a brandnew microwave over the stove and fixed the bricks on the steps that were crumbling. Two bigger projects I don't have to worry about! More to come later on the joy's I am discovering as a new homeowner!

Settlement and Money

2009-08-05T20:27:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I am getting emails and phone calls that things are set to go tomorrow. I am cleared to close! woohoo! So then, I am speaking with my lawyers office and what happens? I am told that the location I am moving doesn't waive the first time homeowners transfer tax. Ok, I figure a couple hundred more, not a problem. Nope, it's another $1,000.00!!!! Oh. My. God. What?!?!? I was so upset. I couldn't believe this wasn't even mentioned as a possibility! I understand to a certain extent because it's uncommon that this would happen. But, it should have been mentioned, "hey, just a heads up, it might be an extra $1,000 bucks because of this." Don't wait until less than 24 hours before closing to tell your client that they need to come up with that extra money!

And of course, being a single mother, I don't have money growing on trees! So, I was given several choices. One, I could increase my mortgage by this amount. Two, I can ask the sellers to contribute the extra amount. Third and final, I can take off the home owners warranty and purchase it next month when I don't have rent or mortgage due and can afford it. So, at this point, I am going with the third option. Although, I am going to try and see if I can swing it. But I don't want to force it so I can still have money for things I need to get!

I went and bought paint for my bedroom, daughter's bedroom and bathroom. Ok, I know it's been awhile since I bought paint, but 24.00 a gallon? Oh my..... Going to pick up the ceiling and trim paint as well as paint for living room and kitchen/eat in area. I see where my money is going! Ugh. One bonus is that I will receive the $8,000.00 stimulus check and will be able to pay off my car, so that will be one less bill I have to pay. Then I will start on paying the credit card.

I'll post more after settlement!

Grandparents and surprises

2009-08-02T20:42:00.003-04:00

Well, my little girl is at her grandparents for the final week of the summer. She goes down about three - four weeks each summer. And I am glad that she is able to do this and have this experience with her father's parents. My mom passed away just under a year ago and she unfortunately won't have more experiences with her. My dad is also up in age and health is not that great, so once I get settled in my new home and have more time, I'm going to make sure she is able to do more with him. My mom used to take my daughter to breakfast and they would have their "girl" time and I know she misses that. So being able to spend the time she has at her grandparents is fantasic.

In regards to the surprises, my daughter will come back home after her room is painted, but she did pick the room color out and I told her she will be able to paint her closet as she wants to help out and feel like she did something in her room. I told her when she comes back next week, I'll need her to tell me where she wants her furniture, but I'll have the rest of the decorations up so she will be very surprised and I know that she will love it! I am so excited and can't wait to have her room look like the room I wish she was able to have the past four years. I'll definitely be taking before and after pictures! Once her room is done, I'll worry about decorating my room as I feel making sure she is comforted and helps with the transistion is more important. I'll keep her in the same school she is in now to make sure she still has that same consistency in her life.

And not only are she and I moving, but her father and his wife have their house up for sale as well, so when that sale goes through, they will also be moving. Quite a bit to go through in this time! But we are focused on making sure she is ok with both moves.

Blog Hop Favorite Child Picture

2009-07-30T21:53:00.001-04:00

A wonderful shot of my daughter just enjoying a summer storm. She loves playing in the rain :)

16 days and counting

2009-07-30T18:48:00.002-04:00

Ok, so, I think I may have jumped the gun a bit! I decided to move into my new house on the 15th instead of the 21st. Ordinarily, not a problem. However, I still have to finish packing. While my sister is going to be here to help some this weekend, I am doing the rest on my own. Think I may have to call some more people in during the week next week if I can't finish this weekend. I am losing a week that I planned to do some unpacking and just bring some of the boxes back. I've already called the movers and have it scheduled for them to come on the 15th and to be honest, I really want to get into my home as soon as possible. Then there is the fact that by moving out of the apartment a week early, I am saving almost $200.00!

Give me strength! I'm going to need it!

House, Child and College update!

2009-07-29T19:47:00.004-04:00

I got the notice from my Mortgage Broker that the mortgage commitment was approved. So as of today, my settlement is definitely on for next Thursday, August 6th! Yaayyyyy! I will then have a painting party the weekend of the 8th so I can get the house painted before the furniture moved in. All my paint colors have been picked out. My daughter picked a carker carribean blue color. It's very cute and perfect for her.

Now, in regards to her toys. I'm thinking with her ADHD, it's not in her best interest to have all her toys surrounding her and overwhelming her. So, we have a finished room in the basement that she will have all her toys in and I'll share with her and have my scrapbooking things in there as well. Her room will have her bed, dresser and desk with her computer in as well. I will also have a corner just for her to relax and read. And of course, a bookshelf. She loves to read!

My daughter also had her DSTP's in the Spring. We got the paperwork with her scores and she did phenomenal! Her math of course exceeded standards. And her reading she was one point from exceeding standards. And this was BEFORE she was on the meds for her ADHD. Can you imagine how she could have done on the meds? It was funny, I reminded her of this and she said, I know! I tried to get the teacher to let me retake it. lol. She was so proud of her self and she should be!

Then finally, I come home after going out with friends for dinner and find that my B.S. Degree was delivered! So excited!!!! I know we had the ceremony over two months ago, but have the paper in my hands makes it more real! Now to figure out what I am going to do. But.... One thing at a time. Get things settled with the house and then figure where to go from here.

Today is the day????

2009-07-29T13:33:00.002-04:00

Ok, hoping to hear from either my realtor or mortgage broker today. I think my sister is more anxious than I am! Heard from her two times asking if I've heard anything! I've left messages for both and am anxious to know that everything is going to go through. However, I unfortunately haven't heard anything. And being at work is making me more antsy! I keep checking my cellphone for missed calls and going back into my email box hoping for something....

ADHD and meds

2009-07-27T20:18:00.002-04:00

Ok, so, how do you know when it is time to talk to the Dr. about increasing your child's meds without coming off as desparate? Lately my daughter has just been back and forth overly antsy and not listening again. Some days are ok, others I'm ready to pull my hair out! An example, I took her to D.C. a couple of weeks ago. OMG, I was ready to go nuts a few times. It wasn't only her misbehaving, but the whining and the clinging. Ugh! I told her, we are here to have fun, not listen to you cry and whine, what are you doing????

Then we have tonight. We were out in front of our apt building, just throwing the ball. Well, the ball I threw got past her and started to roll out into the parking lot. What does she do? She runs after the ball with the car pulling into the parking spot. I yell to her to wait and get the ball when car is parked. Nope, she continued on and made the car stop for her. Needless to say, our fun was done and she had to come in, get a shower and relax before bed. Well, she threw a fit and I told her, that was it for the night, she will be off to bed once shower is done. Well, she gets her shower done quickly, (Surprise, Surprise! insert REALLY surprised voice here) and then comes out, mommy, it's too light out, I can't fall asleep like that. Well, you should have thought about that before sweetie... Can I read. No, sorry darling, you can't. Just go lay in bed and hope the sandman visits soon! Picture stomping off to the bedroom here. "I do love you sweetie!" "Arrgghghhhh" from the rugrat.

Yes, I do love my angel and she will realize it when she is older. However, with her actions lately, I'm wondering if we need to get things analyzed and get it upped. I don't like the idea, but with her about to go back to school, I really have to think about what is best for her....

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

2009-07-25T20:39:00.003-04:00

Ok, so, I'm getting anxious! I want to get in and start doing something with my home. Although, I really shouldn't call it my home until after everything is completely done and paperwork signed. The mortgage commitment date is next Wednesday. In regards to the mortgage commitment, we have to wait to see if the underwriters are going to make the sellers fix the window in the master bedroom. Apparently there is a crack that the home inspector didn't see or the seller did after the inspection. Who knows? We are also still waiting for the inspection of the hot tub. The settlement is scheduled for August 6th. I wish it would come up already! Yes, I know, patience is definitely NOT one of my virtues.

Other than this, this time around appears to be going more smoothly than with the condo back in June. So, keeping my fingers crossed that it continues going smoothly. I've got my paint colors picked out for all the rooms. My daughter picked hers and she is just so excited. We both can't wait to get into our home! Yes, we are going to have color in EVERY room, lol. After living in an apartment for the past 5 years, we are so tired of plain white walls!

I'll post updates as they come!

Top 10 Reasons I am Excited to Stay Home with My Family this Coming Weekend

2009-07-24T20:58:00.000-04:00

1 - I want to!
2 - I plan to sit back and relax with my little angel.
3 - Going to see Harry Potter with my daughter
4 - Need to organize packing time! Maybe Cozi can help? www.cozi.com
5 - I have to pack! Moving time in two weeks and I'm not close!
6 - Call around to moving companies to get quotes
7 - Start getting stuff prepared for school starting in just over a months time
8 - Need to go visit my dad. He is lonely since my mom passed away several months ago
9 - Daughter is having a sleepover. LOVE IT!
10 - Can't afford to do much else right now since I'm buying a home!

So, there are my ten reasons for staying home. Gotta find motivation to get off my butt and get packing!